DID JAMES HETFIELD GO TONE DEAF?
And other monthly musings from the Metal Hammer family
MORE LIKE YAY-ER
There was like 500 pages of Slayer in your last issue and it still wasn’t enough. I even made it onto the fan cover. So happy right now! Thank you, Hammer dudes! I haven’t even started the book yet.
Leiah Brody (email)
We thought of adding another five pages that just said SLAAAAAYEEEERRRRR! over and over but decided that would be a) excessive and b) a waste of paper because ultimately saving the environment is metal.
MORE LIKE NAY-ER
I like Slayer as much as the next guy but is 30 pages not a little excessive? Plus, we all know they will be back in five years anyway. They always are.
Ed Copers (email)
Look, we’ll probably never get to do a Slayer cover again, so we went all-out. Plus, come on, it’s fuckin’ Slayer. Also, you’re wrong because they’ll actually be back in five months for Download fest so there.
SPEED OF FRIGHT
Just watched the episode of Metal Hammer TV, looks great! Was slightly weird for me, however, as I normally listen to the podcast at around 1.8x speed so I wasn’t used to your voices at normal speed. Mark Baker (Facebook) Thanks, Mark, that’s very kind of you and we were totally relaxed filming a TV pilot and didn’t shit ourselves inside out the second our director yelled acti-hold on, why are you listening to us at 1.8x speed?! Are you The Flash? Is that how The Flash works? We gave up caring after Justice League.
So in the first few weeks of 2019 we have Parkway Drive headlining Ally Pally and Architects doing fucking Wembley? Surely this is the year metal’s next generation take over?
Bradley Rannings (email)
The revolution will not be televised, ladies and gentlemen. It’ll be a bunch of sweaty motherfuckers in metalcore t-shirts tearing the roof off arenas, and it’ll be sweeeeeeet.
I’m familiar with the story behind One, but I was so disappointed when I first heard this song (and the entire album for that matter). Most tuneless ballad ever. Had James suddenly gone tone deaf?
Wh… how can you… whe... bu... we honestly thought we’d heard every hot Metallica take imaginable but fair play, Gry, you’ve just outdone the lot. Leave the hall.
POSTERS WITH THE MOST…ERS
Can we have more posters, please? No shitty boy band promo shots, though – we want good album art. How about a death metal art set? For the real metalheads.
Ryan Leith (email)
Well, we just had to tear up our Blood On The Dance Floor poster mega-pack because of this email, so thanks, Ryan. Thanks a lot. Yeah, that’s right, we made
a Blood On The Dance Floor reference. We remember 2012.
STRING WHEN YOU’RE WINNING
Earlier this week I saw Gary Numan perform with an orchestra. I wish I went to the Alter Bridge show with one, so my question is, what other bands should give their music the orchestral treatment?
Chris Lloyd (Facebook) Hatebeak.
BIG HANG THEORY
‘Hangman’s Chair?’ Why does a hangman have his own specific chair? A hangman has a rope, or gallows. All he has to do is pull a leaver, and he wants to sit down to do it? I bet he’s told his employer he has a back condition. Got a doctor’s note and everything. Maybe it’s a decommissioned electric chair that was knocking around the execution department. I guess it makes an interesting conversation point for the poor soul on his way to the gallows to be hanged by a man who can’t be bothered to stand up.
Raven O’mara (Facebook)
Look, we don’t pick the band names, take it up with Hangman’s Chair. Jesus.
BRING ME THE RIFFS
All the new BMTH fans don’t even know their old songs when they play them. Only the real OG fans are banging their heads. It’s sad to see 80% of people confused with the deathcore. Man I wish BMTH would go back to their heavy days.
Bryce Plez (Facebook)
Honestly, there are plenty days we do too. We liked that song with the sax on the last album though. That, as the kids apparently say, slapped.
the het laUGhS at YoUr SUBorDINaNcetoWarDS oNe
Bmth: are you even a fan if you don’t know all the words to TellSlater Not to Wash His Dick?