HEN DO? CAN DO!
THE BEST WAY TO BRIDE AND ZOOM WITH YOUR PALS TRENDS
WHETHER it’s work, dating or keeping fit, the spectre of the Covid-19 has changed almost every aspect of our lives in 2020, including that stalwart of the summer calendar: the wedding.
While long-planned, much-considered nuptials are now on ice for the foreseeable (or taking place on a more boutique scale), one thing that is still going ahead with gusto is the hen party – you guessed it, via Zoom.
Ruth Barrett, 33, organised her best friend Marj’s ‘virtual hen party’ at the start of May (groom Olly had his stag party online a week later). While the couple have understandably scaled back their wedding ceremony in July to include just two witnesses, Ruth was determined to help her best friend celebrate her hen night on the scale they’d originally intended.
‘Ahead of time, I sent Marj a bridal sash, veil and banner to get her in the party spirit,’ says the digital PR consultant. ‘There were seven other ladies attending and I sent them a series of questions about the bride, their relationship with her, tips for marriage and their favourite things about the bride and groom in advance.
‘Then I made a “Why We Love Marj” virtual hen party book, which I uploaded to YouTube to show on the Zoom call. Another lady named Lorna made an incredible quiz centred on marriage. It was so lovely to see everyone and even though some of us hadn’t met before, we were united by our love for Marj. It was different to what I’d originally expected to organise but we very much made the best of it.’
Neesha Rees, 30, from Swansea, was due to be a bridesmaid for her friend
Rebecca so when the hen do went virtual, she leapt into action.
‘It was way easier to organise the online hen than it had been organising what was going to be the actual hen weekend,’ she says. ‘There were 14 of us and we all did fancy dress. The bride prepared a quiz with prizes for the winner and loser, and also judged the fancy dress. The best part was that everyone was so up for a laugh and it was just really nice to “see” people we haven’t seen in months.’
Sophie Attwood’s wedding was scheduled for the middle of August in the Dordogne but when the pandemic put a stop to those plans, friends of the 28-year-old owner of interiors brand Husoe Home arranged a virtual hen party to cheer her up too.
‘They told me about it in advance and laid down the ground rules with my fiancé,’ she says. ‘He was to stay upstairs all evening! Throughout the day, lovely gifts arrived – a hen-party tiara, flowers and a bottle of Fortnum & Mason champagne. My fiancé put our daughter to bed while I put make-up on and a little white dress (and heels!) for the first time in a long time.
‘The party started with my bridesmaid reading a poem about me, written after she asked everyone for their special and funny memories in the lead-up to the night. Then we played games.’
Online hen-dos solve one problem that comes with ‘henning’ in real life – the budget.
‘It’s a lot cheaper to host a Zoom hen do than a real one,’ says 29-year-old Sherrie Higgins, who runs How To Hen (howtohen.com), a database giving people the tools, connections and inspiration to arrange parties themselves. ‘Normally we have 12 “categories” of brides to help people plan but we’ve just added a new one – the “socially distanced bride”. This enables people to organise remote celebrations. People still want to do the same things. Quizzes are still big and the same goes for all the classic hen party fair: drinking games, dressing up…’
Sherrie also says the lockdown has meant companies have become more creative with their virtual services. ‘Hen-dos need to be personalised – one size does not fit all,’ she says. ‘Virtual dance classes are popular, cocktailmaking lessons… there are craft workshops hosted online for groups and even DIY skills and coding classes. Another benefit to online parties is that they really allow long-distance friends to truly be involved.’
Zoom-phobic? Sherrie says group chats such as WhatsApp can also offer a way to host an online party too.
‘They can work really well if you set challenges or take on tasks or games,’ she says. ‘For example, giving people 30 minutes to go off and design the bride’s dress and send the drawing back on the message chain. Or to join in on the group chat at a certain time to reveal your individual mood boards of what the bride’s dream wedding would look like.’
However, Sherrie warns that online hen-dos still take a lot of planning and that it’s also challenging to know how much time to set aside.
‘People with young kids are not going to be able to spend five hours on Zoom, whereas five friends who know each other really well may,’ she says.
Four hours is, in her opinion, long enough, with most virtual parties lasting around three. It is also harder to wrangle people into committing, which is one reason why she’s started offering an online ‘hosting’ service.
‘I’ve heard stories of unsuccessful Zoom celebrations, usually when no one is hosting it,’ she says. ‘There can be awkward silences or people talking over others. By acting as an MC, I can intervene, steer the conversation and games, and just offer direction.’
‘My advice to anyone organising a virtual party right now is to embrace technology glitches, slow internet speeds and group chats,’ says Ruth Barrett. ‘Also, be kind – people may not come back to your emails and messages straight away. We all have so much to deal with.’
Despite all that, Sophie says her virtual hen party exceeded expectations.
‘I thought the event would be awkward, that we’d all be jumping in to talk at the wrong time or not know what to say, but it was amazing,’ she says. ‘We talked and laughed until about 2am and it felt as if we’d had a lovely hen celebration.’
She’s rescheduled her wedding for next year and plans to have a second hen. ‘Although hopefully this time,’ she says, ‘not online.’
‘It was actually way easier organising an online hen’
My advice to anyone organising a virtual hen-do is to embrace technology glitches