Yet more gypsy secrets on view
THE Wedding Proposal, on Channel 4, followed several romantics as they popped the question in unusual fashion.
Posho Steve flew girlfriend Clare to a snow-capped glacier in the Alps ( possibly because subzero temperatures made her personality seem slightly warmer.
Lovable geek David surprised Kelly by appearing onstage at a West End musical, having hidden the engagement ring down his pants.
“Let’s hope she doesn’t feel it,” he giggled.
She definitely won’t after you’re married, pal.
And Jade proposed to Liverpool-mad Andy during a stadium tour of Anfield.
Their tale was especially poignant because Andy was due to have his leg amputated. So she’ll have to make sure she attaches the ball and chain to the right one.
is one of those “brave” BBC comedies which sweeps away old-fashioned concepts like “jokes” or “humour”.
It is so depressing even the canned laughter track refuses to giggle.
But, hey, it stars national treasure Dawn French. So it must be good, right?
French has lost a lot of weight recently but was still well-upholstered when this was made.
“I’ve got jaw ache from eating all those wine gums,” she moaned.
Never mind jaw ache, love. You must have had enough by now to develop alcoholism.
One scene saw her wearing a box on her head. It looked like she had just wolfed an Easter egg by burrowing straight into the box.
Then I’m Just ROOM 101 is all about celebrities trying to argue their case – and pop star Jamelia definitely presented a couple of excellent points.
Weighty, balanced and extremely wellsupported, they certainly seemed to impress host Frank Skinner.
But enough about her breasts. The girl could not argue her way out of a wet paper bag.
Maybe she misunderstood when told it was a show for people who enjoy mass debating. YOU know those adverts you see at the cinema, which imagine how films might be ruined by an obsession with mobile phones?
Well, this week’s Top Gear nicked the idea, with petrolhead Clarkson supposedly directing a car chase for the forthcoming Sweeney movie.
Instead of maximising the action, he was more concerned with getting his characters to switch off the traction control before a power slide.
Doesn’t sound funny but I’m still giggling now. And, as a bonus, it won’t upset the Mexicans. “I can’t stand pop-ups” said the archfeminist Germaine Greer, on Room 101.
Sorry, sweetheart, but sometimes we can’t help it. Especially if you gals lead us on by wearing a short skirt. BRITAIN’S “most secretive community” was back on the box last night, with the return of to Channel 4.
These fiercely shy people reluctantly allowed the cameras to lift the lid on their closelyguarded rituals for the first time in...ooh, about three months.
Gypsy lives have been so exhaustively filmed in recent years that they no longer have enough brides to fulfil the title.
Last night saw just one wedding, plus a First Communion and a beauty pageant.
Not that it really matters, as every event seems to end up looking exactly the same: a bunch of girls grinding suggestively while dressed as Latvian prostitutes.
It looks like a boot camp – or should that be a booty camp – for trainee lapdancers.
Last night’s bride was 21-year-old Dolores ( pictured). She wanted a cat-themed wedding, which seemed appropriate when so many guests were likely to show their flaps.
At the pre-wedding party, Dolores dressed as a palm tree and her bridesmaid as a pineapple.
Something tells me the man from Del Monte would not be saying yes to either of them.
It is only fair to point out that gypsy families treasure their daughters dearly and enforce strict rules about sex before marriage.
Besides, in a Catholic church, a young girl can dress as as she pleases and remain safe.
It is her brother who’ll need to be careful.
The final thread was a beauty pageant “to find the next gypsy superstar”, which really begs the question: who was the last one?
I am sure there could have been loads by now, of course, if only they were not so darned secretive.