It’s all so faking obvious
THE last ever Hustle opened with the crew being machine-gunned on a rooftop – so we knew instantly they were going to be fine.
In the least surprising “twist” since Chubby Checker’s comeback tour, the shooting was a fake. Yawn.
The gunman turned out to be their old mate Danny Blue, aka Marc Warren ( right), who gave up being a con merchant to advertise Virgin Media.
They all escaped in a huge Cadillac convertible – as you would if you wanted to keep a low profile – with the usual self-serving baloney that only the greedy get scammed.
Yeah? Tell that to some old lady whose pension book is nicked by a scumbag claiming to be from the water board.
Funny how none of them was injured.... yet they’ll still turn up in Casualty. AS an actor, Abi Titmuss suffers from Robert De Niro syndrome: she will always struggle to match the brilliance of her early work.
For De Niro, it was Raging Bull. For Abi, it was being rimmed by a hot lesbo on John Leslie’s camcorder.
So her bit part on this week’s Casualty – as the scheming mother of a troubled teen daughter – was always facing an uphill struggle to compare. And it didn’t. She was awful.
Taking of famous tits, Danny Dyer was in the same episode.
“I know it was wrong but I decided to fill the hole,” he said, explaining why he had assumed the identity of a dead paramedic.
Didn’t Abi’s hot lesbo pal say the same thing? ask!)
At least the poor blighter did not have to sit through another 40 minutes of Sunday night pap for lobotomised women in the Home Counties.
God, it was drivel. The goings-on at 165 Eaton Place are like methadone for sad cases addicted to the heroin of
The only light relief was new nursemaid Beryl, played by stunning Laura Haddock ( of movie.
Eaton Place? I’d rather have eaten Haddock.