It’s all turning to sh*t as away day BLUES threaten to flush away Mancini’s title dreams

THAT was a weekend in football that measured 9.5 on the RECTUM scale. Shitters across the land went into overdrive as we officially reached ‘the business end’ of the season.

With 10 games to go in the Premier League it couldn’t be tighter at the top – or looser for the bottoms.

And you can bet that Sky Sports execs were cacking their undies with delight at the prospect of the title race going to the wire.

Has the call already gone in to try to move the City v United match from the end of April to the last match of the season?

As sure as your next shit, you can bet on it.

Meanwhile, Roberto Mancini must have considered bending over and kissing his arse goodbye as he curled one off after Man City’s shock defeat to Swansea.

The Blues have turned a seven-point lead at the top into a one-point deficit – and it seems it’s not just Mancini that’s filling his shorts.

If you open the bog seat and peer in at City’s title challenge, there are turds that are particularly hard to flush.

So while they are blitzing everyone at home, they’ve slipped up four times away – to Chelsea in December, to Sunderland and Everton in January, and now to Swansea in March. n fact it’s just two wins in seven away league games for the Blues – a bowel-emptying stat if there ever was one.

There’s cracks here, and doubts there, and that’s got bums twitching at the Etihad and Alex Ferguson smelling blood (as well as shit).

Fergie was quick to mention how United have clawed it back, and so he should – United are on top for the first time since October.

Fergie’s men had been written off, cast away like bum-stained shit roll.

They were past it, gone, lacking in quality and getting desperate. They were up shit creek.

But while the Old Trafford class of 2012 might not have the quality of previous sides, it has bags of experience. And it has Ferguson.

Fergie’s found a paddle and

Ithey’ve somehow pulled themselves out of the brown stuff. Again.

Now they’ve adopted that all too familiar default setting of winning. Just winning. F*** style. F*** showboating. They’re just winning – and City know it.

The pressure looks like it’s telling for the Blues. The players are squabbling and the defending was desperate at the Liberty Stadium. But there’s still time to stem the flow. It’s still in City’s hands. With United still to come to Fortress Etihad, it’s City’s if they want it.

But all of a sudden trips to Stoke, Arsenal and Newcastle look tricky for City. The lot could go down the pan if Mancini doesn’t get a grip. Fast.

And the answer is staring the Italian in the face. It’s another little shit – Carlos Tevez.

He might be this, he might be that – but he’s also a fantastic footballer. And right now, City need a fantastic footballer. evez has the ego but he’s got the skills to back it up – he’s a matchwinner. City haven’t made too much of a habit of winning matches late on in games, United have – but that’s bog standard for the Red Devils.

Now’s the time for City to stop farting around and play their trump card.

Mancini has to get his weapon out. It could be the difference between second and first. The difference between City’s first top league title since 1968 – their third – or United’s 20th.

And it could be the difference between Mancini keeping his job and losing it.

After all, you’d think after being backed to the hilt financially and being afforded time to build, the shit would really hit the fan in the Sheik Mansour household if Mancini blows it.

Shit or bust, Roberto, shit or bust.

T