Spencer’s choice so unbelievable

OSCAR Pistorius was not the only one wanting a steward’s inquiry at the weekend.

The Paralympics icon might have devoted the last four years to running that 200m final – only to be beaten by a Brazilian with bigger springs – but I devoted my summer to watching The Bachelor on Five, which is a far greater sacrifice.

Ten episodes, I watched – TEN! Only to be slapped in the face with the fishiest result since Qatar won the right to host the 2022 World Cup.

In case you missed it (as if!), Spencer Matthews chose Khloe Evans ( right) as his dream woman.

Yeah, right. Because if you had 24 women to choose from – most of them smart, sexy, model types – you would pick the gobby kiss-and-tell dunce with plastic tits and a Daffy Duck pout. Obviously.

It was a bullshit result, cynically cooked up to create a more interesting story.

After all, “Posh Twat Dates Willowy Blonde Model” is hardly headline news.

“Posh Twat Dates Manchester Scrubber”, on the other hand, has got some legs (no offence, Oscar).

You can just imagine the production meeting: “Pick Khloe, Spencer. That Cinderella rags-toriches thing will play better with the sad sacks who spend their Friday nights watching Five.”

“Yah, and just imagine how you can spice up Made In Chelsea by dating....wait for it, a poor person! From the north! What a hoot!”

It is my own fault, I know. I should never have trusted a series that cast a “scripted reality” drone like Spencer as its prize.

Such people are not secure enough in their fame to do their own thing, and they are used to being manipulated by the producers. Well, Spencer is, anyway. At the last count, he was dutifully pretending to be going steady with Khloe, simpering how “I can’t wait to see what comes of this relationship”.

Really? Well, so far in this “relationship”, Khloe has snogged some bloke off TOWIE and told the word that you are still with your actual girlfriend.

Oh dear. Maybe it wasn’t so smart to go for the gobby Manc after all.