Keep it cov­ered, idiots!

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

IT’S tough be­ing a re­porter th­ese days.

Ever since the phone hack­ing scan­dal – which in­volved a minis­cule few of the 10s of thou­sands of journos work­ing through­out Bri­tain to­day – our stock has dived to the point where it some­times feels peo­ple would rather sup with ISIS than have a pint with a scribe.

Things have got so ridicu­lous that if any­one in the forces or ser­vices bumps into a hack in the street – or, God for­bid, has one in their fam­ily – they’re told to re­port it to their su­pe­ri­ors or face the pub­lic wrath.

We’re easy tar­gets, as wit­nessed ear­lier this week when the des­per­ate Tory party tried to turn a story about one of their min­is­ters – Brooks New­mark MP ( above) – flash­ing his cock on­line into a “tabloid ex­cess” de­bate. There IS no de­bate here. When the Min­is­ter for Civil So­ci­ety charged with get­ting more women to stand as Con­ser­va­tive MPs starts wav­ing his willy at an in­ter­net-con­nected cam­era, he’s fair game for ex­po­sure.

After all, HE’S ex­pos­ing HIM­SELF in the first place.

Just as de­testable preachy Labour MP Chris Bryant was equally fair game when he ad­ver­tised him­self on gay link-up app Grindr wear­ing just a pair of large white un­der­pants.

It doesn’t mat­ter that New­man’s todger was in fact be­ing beamed into the clutches of an un­der­cover male re­porter.

The fact is, a mar­ried fa­ther of five, at 56 years of age, hold­ing rel­a­tively high JUDE Law’s ex-mis­sus Sadie Frost ( has a new life­style book out in which she ad­vises us to “bang a gong to break up stag­nant en­ergy” and “sprin­kle a line of salt across door­ways to ab­sorb neg­a­tiv­ity”.

She’s not tak­ing the piss, ei­ther.

We might have to give her a job… gov­ern­ment of­fice, was ex­cit­edly show­ing off his crown jew­els to a young stranger he met on­line called “Sophie”.

It might not be the crime of the cen­tury but it cer­tainly calls into ques­tion the judge­ment of a man who seeks to rule the rest of us.

The words “pri­vacy” and “en­trap­ment” have been bandied around by his mates in the Tory party and – but of bleedin’ course – those sanc­ti­mo­nious wankers at the Guardian, who won’t be happy A DEER trag­i­cally died when it was de­cap­i­tated by a roller­coaster at Light­wa­ter Val­ley Theme Park in Ripon, North Yorks.

No more stag do’s there, then. un­less they’re the only pa­per left in Bri­tain and we all vote Lib­eral Demo­crat.

Well, sod that. We’re not talk­ing about a dod­dery old fool mak­ing a “mis­take” with the new of­fice in­tern.

We ARE talk­ing about a savvy self-made mil­lion­aire who him­self ad­mits to be­ing a com­plete IDIOT.

Just like all the celebs whin­ing about their lurid bukkake self­ies end­ing up all over the in­ter­net, the mes­sage is sim­ple.

Keep your cocks and fan­nies off­line and you won’t have a prob­lem.

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