I’m hooked on horny £300-a-week hooker
WITH AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN ASSOCIATION WITH DID I HAVE SEX WITH AN ACTUAL ALIEN AT SCI FI CONVENTION?
Dear Hannah,
I’M a recently divorced father-of-three and I’ve been dating a hooker for two months.
Well, I’m not exactly dating her, because it’s costing me £300-a-week to “take her out”.
She’s blonde, 21, and sexmad. I met her one night when I was kerb-crawling in a red-light district.
She charged £25 for an expert blowjob and a f**k and I was instantly hooked.
In fact, I was so taken by her technique that I arranged to pick her up the next night and I’ve been shagging her just about every evening since.
I don’t simply give her one now, though. First I take her for a nice meal and then I drive her to some secluded spot, where I hand over the readies and she gets down to business.
Last month I took her on a week’s caravan holiday. She charged me £600 for the entire week, so I was determined to make her earn her money.
On the first night she wore stockings and suspenders and a nurse’s uniform.
Stiff
I got my knob out and she sucked me off, running her hot wet tongue up and down my shaft and licking my balls.
She then got her tits out and brought me off all over her stiff nipples.
Seeing as I was paying so much money for her, I decided to video our romps.
I undressed her and plunged my head between her thighs to lick her out.
The wonderful aroma of her c**t-juices soon got me rock-hard again. She wrapped her legs around my shoulders so I could penetrate her more deeply. I then took her doggy-style.
It was a great week and in the end I must have made about 40 video tapes.
I still see her every night and recently asked for a discount because I’m virtually spending all my money on her.
She said no, but I didn’t complain because I’m happy to be going out with her after being stuck in my lonely flat since me and the missus split up.
I want to marry her, but I don’t know how to ask her and I’m afraid she’ll tell me to piss off.
Any advice?
Hannah says…
I WORK in a posh bar of a hotel.
A couple of weeks ago a group of women held
a school reunion there. They all got very drunk and I got chatting
. She was to one who had long, brown hair
of tits only 5ft tall but had a massive pair and lovely arse. At one in the morning I told them all
that they would have to leave. Everyone left
my except two, the woman who had caught eye and her mate. I reckon they were
in their mid-40s – I’m only 23.
their I went over to tell them to finish drinks and the one I fancied had
let her skirt ride up to show the tops of her stockings. Her mate then said: “He’s looking to
see if you’ve got any knickers on.” Then the one I fancied got my cock out.
a She sucked me off while her mate took picture.
a table I then f**ked the other one over
of that. and the busty brunette took a snap They left giggling and promised to
send far nothing. me a copy of the snaps, but so What should I do?
TG, Lake District YOUR memory of it seems
photographic to me
AP, Manchester
TA DA! Bet you don’t get many pairs like this on planet Zob, eh? Come on, what’s your
real name? Quintuplets? No more nights down the bingo for you! Next time you meet a hunky alien ask him to stick it up Uranus!