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Corona­tion Street

X Fac­tor

Dr No.

The Man With The Golden Gun.

right). IN the 1990s we all got into watch­ing folk do dull sh*t on the telly: tak­ing driv­ing lessons, paint­ing the spare room, dig­ging the gar­den.

There was almost noth­ing we would not watch. Almost. “They’ll be show­ing us peo­ple eat­ing their tea next!” we used to joke – safe in the knowl­edge that even cheap, shoddy Bri­tish tele­vi­sion would never stoop so low as to film an or­di­nary housewife slam­ming a cou­ple of frozen pasties in the oven and call­ing it en­ter­tain­ment.

Well, guess what? Tele­vi­sion just stooped that low.

New BBC2 show The Kitchen put cam­eras in var­i­ous homes across the na­tion and filmed or­di­nary peo­ple cook­ing then eat­ing their tea.

Ac­tu­ally, that is not fair. There is more to it than that.

Some­times they show them eat­ing break­fast, too.

Ob­vi­ously, the show’s mak­ers would love you to think this is about more than cook­ing and eat­ing food.

They would prob­a­bly claim it is not just a slice of pizza but a slice of life: Bri­tain in all its di­ver­sity.


But all that means is that they have made sure to tick ev­ery so­cial class cliché in the book: some mid­dle-class twits pick­ing at fresh trout, coun­cil es­tate Taffs wolf­ing down frozen sausages, a pair of north­ern bid­dies eat­ing noth­ing but meat pies, a fam­ily of de­vout black Brum­mies thank­ing God “for th­ese fish fin­gers” and some London gays get­ting plenty of pro­tein.

The Kitchen tells you noth­ing about Bri­tain apart from the prej­u­dice of the dicks who make tele­vi­sion.

What it also tells you is that the BBC was GUT­TED to have missed out on Gog­gle­box, the un­likely Chan­nel 4 smash in which we watch peo­ple watch­ing telly.

HAV­ING fi­nally no­ticed that one or two Asian peo­ple live in Manch­ester, de­cided to make a sto­ry­line around this week’s Mus­lim fes­ti­val of Eid-al-Adha. Or, as they say on the cob­bles, Eid-by-gum. Token Asian fam­ily the Nazirs held a spe­cial feast for...

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