Tin­pot tossers ...this year’s Sugar lumps

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

BBC1 hair gel fest

kicked off again last night amid great fan­fare that this is the 10th se­ries.

Wow, dou­ble fig­ures! That is more than the men­tal age of most of the con­tes­tants. pain in the arse while you try to en­joy a quiet pint.

In a crowded field, the stand-out loon is prob­a­bly Sarah – who glo­ries in the job ti­tle of “For­mer PA and hyp­nother­a­pist”. Well, I sup­pose “failed sec­re­tary turned snake oil sales­woman” is a bit of a mouth­ful.

And it was un­der Sarah’s lead­er­ship that the girls’ team named them­selves “Deca­dence” – ap­par­ently un­aware that it made them sound like a dildo shop. It was so bad that even Lord Sugar told them to change it.

Well, I say they were un­aware but per­haps Sarah chose the tit­il­lat­ing name on pur­pose. Cer­tainly her only strat­egy for the first task was for the girls to dress like sluts.

“Lip­stick, high heels, and short skirts!” she boomed. “If you haven’t brought any short STARS At Your Ser­vice sees low-rent celebri­ties spend­ing a day with mem­bers of the pub­lic.

It is all for char­ity, which I guess is why Chan­nel 4 thought they could get away with dish­ing up such tired, clichéd, pa­tro­n­is­ing crap.

Char­ity be­gins at home – which is ex­actly where ev­ery­one in­volved in the mak­ing of this load of bobbins should have stayed.

The char­ity cam­paign in ques­tion was Stand Up To Can­cer. Frankly, they could be stand­ing up to can­cer, Ebola, ISIS and global warm­ing rolled into one – and it STILL would not have been worth sit­ting through. skirts, you’ll have to hitch it up!”

Ob­vi­ously, this type of sex­ist and de­grad­ing treat­ment of in­tel­li­gent busi­ness­women is ut­terly out-dated and wrong.

Erm, apart from the fact that it worked and Sarah’s sub-team sold way more than any other. Take that, fem­i­nism! On the boys’ side, the prize plum award is cur­rently a tie be­tween camp Cana­dian Stephen, whose goal is to build a home for men­tally-im­paired adults (pre­sum­ably he is on this show to scout for pa­tients) and Robert, whose great­est night­mare “is to hit 40 and be on a £50K salary and drive a four-year-old Toy­ota”.

Oh Robert, I’m sure nei­ther of those things will hap­pen.

You won’t be mak­ing any­where near £50K. And most mini­cabs are way older than four years. ITV2 sit­com

is very funny AND it stars stun­ning Laura Aikman (

So called, I’m guess­ing, be­cause she gives me a “lorra ache, man”. In my balls. Laura plays Natalie, a trainee man­ager in a Mid­lands job cen­tre – where this week she tried to ma­nip­u­late her staff by “do­ing a Di”, or flash­ing her big doe eyes, a la Princess Diana.

At which point, most blokes would do any­thing she asked.

As long as they thought she might let them have an ac­ci­dent in her “Parisian tun­nel”.

OH LORD! Sugar and co are back

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.