My bags of cash only attract fat lass gash

I WENT to a neighbour’s BBQ last week and got chatting to his wife.

Over a few glasses of wine she said she fancied a shag and invited me upstairs where she stripped down to her black thong and bra and soon had my cock in her gob.

Just as I was about to come I pulled out and sprayed all over her face – and to my delight, she absolutely loved it.

I was soon hard again, so I gave her one her doggy-style, which had her bucking around with pleasure.

As we got dressed, I heard moaning from another bedroom and I couldn’t believe it when I saw my girlfriend getting boned by my neighbour AND his mate.

It turns out they organise regular swingers’ parties and have invited us to another one soon.

Should we accept? WHY not? It sounds like you both had a great time at their last shindig! I SHAGGED my girlfriend and her best mate at the same time the other week.

I had always fantasised about having a filthy threesome – not necessarily with my bird either. It could be with two complete strangers if the truth be known.

And I never thought my girl would be open to the idea of sharing our bed with another woman.

But we were all a bit merry after going to the local pub and one thing led to another when we all got back to my house and we all tumbled into bed together.

They both sucked my cock before I took them from behind and I had them in every hole and left them covered in my man-milk.

When I was exhausted and couldn’t manage any more f**king, they even set about licking each other out.

It was an amazing night and I want to shag them both again but my bird says it was a just one-off. How can I persuade her and her mate to do it again?

PH, north London THERE’S no two ways about it, you’re just going to have to get her tipsy again. THE only girls I seem to attract are fat lasses.

I’ve shagged loads, even though it’s often a problem getting my modest six-incher.

I have just come out of my apprenticeship as a pipe-fitter so I have had a handy pay rise.

But even with extra cash in my pocket I can’t seem to attract girls with slimmer figures.

Mind you, I can’t complain – I’ve found the fat girls will do just about ANYTHING for a shag.

As a result, I have had more oral sex than a fella could wish for. And plenty of anal, too.

In fact, I had one recently who would not have sex any other way. But how do I get with a slimmer babe?

TC, Leics

Dani says…

THINK yourself lucky you’re getting oral and anal! DP, Kent