KISS GENE: I’LL ONLY DO DRUGS IF IT MAKES MY COCK BIGGER!

NOT SO CRAZY NIGHTS: Teetotal rocker Gene KISS legend Gene Simmons has revealed how he’s NEVER been drunk or high.

And the 68-year-old rock icon said that he would only ever start drinking booze or taking drugs if it “made his schmekel bigger” – schmekel being the Yiddish word for little penis.

The God of Thunder and Crazy Nights hitmaker, who dresses up as a fire-breathing Demon on stage and claims to have slept with nearly 5,000 women, said he didn’t see the point or booze or drugs.

He said: “I’ve never got high or got drunk in my life.

“I don’t like the taste of alcohol. I don’t like cigarettes. I don’t like drugs.

“On the day science tells me all of the above will make my schmekel bigger or I’ll get smarter or make more money, I’m right at the head of the line.

“But it doesn’t do that. If you drink too much, you’re going to throw up on the shoes of the girl. I don’t get it.”

The bass player, who was born in Israel, also said that he was proud he still had his own hair.

He said: “I’m proud of still having my own hair. It’s messed up from years of bad hairspray and breathing fire onstage, but it’s all mine.

“I’m grey, so I have to dye it, but it’s mine.

“Sadly, as the years pass, and the less I have on my head, the more I have on my back and my ass, and in my nose.”