Wanker starts fight in woods
A BLOKE who told police he just wanted “alone time” to masturbate in the woods has been charged with indecent exposure.
Kenton Shaull, 55, admitted to police he was “jerking off” along a winderness trail but found himself “tussling” with a man who took offence to his actions.
The incident occurred about on Saturday evening when police callers reported a naked man fighting someone.
When officers arrived at the scene, they heard “crashing” coming from a ditch and found two men – Shaull, who appeared to have a bloodied mouth, and a 42-year-old man – both covered in mud and dirt, court records say.
When a cop asked Shaull what happened, he allegedly shouted: “He found me with my cock in my hand, jerking off, and kicked my balls.”
He contended that he never had any “alone time” and said that while he walked on the trail, he found a private location and began “jerking off”.
The other man told an officer that he and his wife saw Shaull masturbating above the Lake Wilderness Trail about 20 miles southeast of Seattle, in Washington state, and so he hit him and placed him in a choke hold.
Shaull allegedly said: “Bro, cut me some slack, I was just in the woods masturbating, minding my own business”.
He also claimed he was “just a guy trying to take care of his needs”.
It later transpired that Shaull has been previously convicted of indecent exposure.