Manager’s win bonus is sex with the team

Dear Sam,

A MATE of my wife has set up a football team. Because I’m a former semi-pro, she asked if I would manage them.

I agreed, but to be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it. I thought they’d be a bunch of ugly lesbos.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I got to the first training session, I saw all these fit birds.

After our first match I gave my strikers, two gorgeous 18-year-old blondes, a lift.

It wasn’t long before one of them was sucking my cock while the other took her clothes off. I ended up shagging both of them.

Since then I’ve scored with most of the team. The centre-half loves anal sex, while the right winger loves to be tied up and taken from behind.

Porn

The skipper invites me round to talk tactics. This usually involves us watching porn videos of her having sex with her husband and his mates.

She then gets changed into her football kit, complete with shin pads and boots, and gives me a blowjob.

Then she takes her kit off, but leaves her boots on, and rides me.

The only problem is that my wife now wants to join the team. Obviously, I don’t want her finding out about my ‘team bonding’ sessions.

What should I do? KD, Newcastle

Sam says…

TELL your wife her idea is offside.