IF YOU HAD ONE LIKE MINE, WAVE IT ABOUT! Drunk yob exposed his willy in street

and his wife a “slag” during the abusive tirade.

Smith, of Markinch, began to leave the area and, while doing so, he dropped his trousers to his knees and grabbed hold of his genitals before “waving” them about.

Police officers were called to the scene and attempted to arrest Smith, who challenged them to a fight and refused to be handcuffed. FANS of Alan Partridge will no doubt remember the hapless telly host desperately trying to interest a TV executive with a list of bizarre new show ideas.

and stand out as classics.

But those ideas, comedy gold at the time, now seem small potatoes alongside some of the real shows that are turning up. Take What’s that? Well, it’s exactly what it says on the tin.

This reality show takes place on a ranch in Arizona,

He was eventually placed in the rear of a police van, where he continued to spit before being taken to the police station.

During his police interview, he said: “I have a big gash on my lip, arm and shoulders.

“If you seen the size of my knob, you would be waving it about.”

Smith denied having any recollection of the incident and was USA where the stars rode up for ten days of filming. And – like

– the show is presented by comedian Stephen Bailey.

In essence, the celebs give up their glitzy lifestyles to get down and dirty on the American farm.

Expect to see them mucking out, moving manure, saddling up and riding horses and pretty much doing normal day-to-day activities expected of a cowpoke.

Newbie ranch hands include camp dancer Louie Spence and The Wanted’s Siva. Nope, not a f**king clue.

But these reality C-listers are joined by some sexy blart – including

babe Chloe Meadows, sexpot Georgia Steel and uber-WAG Tanya Bardsley. noted to be heavily under influence of alcohol at the time.

Appearing at Kirkcaldy Sheriff Court, Smith admitted assaulting his neighbour by spitting on him.

He also admitted behaving in a disorderly manner by exposing himself in the street and to resisting, obstructing or hindering arrest.

Sheriff Grant McCulloch deferred sentence for background reports. the