Falkirk’s folk are re­port­edly noisy f**kers

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

A TOWN’S randy lovers are mak­ing their neigh­bours moan with their noisy sex.

Hordes of en­thu­si­as­tic cou­ples were re­ported to au­thor­i­ties in Scot­land for caus­ing a dis­tur­bance through scream­ing and groan­ing.

Frisky folk in Falkirk ( above) have been ex­posed as the coun­try’s most vo­cal lovers, with coun­cil bosses re­ceiv­ing 49 noisy sex com­plaints in the past year.

Fig­ures re­leased un­der Free­dom of In­for­ma­tion laws show Stir­ling, which came se­cond, lagged far be­hind with just two griev­ances.

Aberdeen­shire, In­ver­clyde and Perth and Kin­ross coun­cils had just one gripe each lodged since last March.

But quiet cou­ples kept a lid on it in East Ayr­shire, Dundee, Shet­land and Dum­fries and Galloway, which had no noisy sex com­plaints at all.

But John O’Con­nell, of the Tax­Pay­ers’ Al­liance, said: “Coun­cils should be fo­cus­ing on de­liv­er­ing pub­lic ser­vices, not wast­ing cash as some kind of jumped-up sex po­lice.” EVERY 45 sec­onds, a house catches on fire in the United States

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