‘Groupie’ was actually my sex-mad girlfriend
WELCOME to the World famous Sport Agony page! No other newspaper’s agony aunts can offer the level of advice – or experience – than our own Agony Angels! This week KELLY MCGREGOR has been reading through your letters. And here’s her advice for you…
Dear Kelly,
I’M the lead guitarist in a rock band and I’ve got a problem with our singer. I know all about groupies and such like, as we get a fair few of them hanging around after gigs. Horny babes wait at the back of the venues just begging for a chance to get on our tour bus and get some action. I’m in a relationship, so I never bother with them, but it never ceases to amaze me how easy it would be to get a bonk after every show we do.
Bucking
Our singer does takes advantage of the situation, getting off with a different babe at every gig.
This is absolutely fine with me, but at one show he told me he’d just boned a groupie BEFORE the gig because he liked her stripy tights.
He then described in detail how it happened – and it was quite a story.
Apparently, she cornered him in the gents, led him into a cubicle, sat him on the loo and sucked his knob until his balls ached.
Then, he said, she unleashed his monster of rock, turned around, pulled her tights down and lowered her wet pussy on to him.
And all the time she was riding him like a bucking bronco, he just sat back and smoked a cigarette.
But the girl wasn’t done. She pulled him out of the cubicle and ordered him to take her from behind as she was bent over the toilet sink.
Everyone in the band was laughing about it – and I have to say, the way he told us how he’d been pointing in the mirror at himself while she was bent over the sink had me in stitches as well.
Well, it did until moments later I saw my girlfriend walk backstage – wearing black and white stripy tights!
She got a great big cheer from the rest of the band and now I’m a laughing stock.
I love the girl, but I don’t know if I can ever trust her again. Should I forgive her?
BW, east London
Kelly says…
NO, I don’t think you can trust her. She’s done it to you once and she’ll do it again.
Kelly says…
A MAN’S G-Spot is hidden up his anus and, when stimulated right, can deliver amazing orgasms. It’s not just gay men who gain pleasure from this.
Dear Kelly,
EVER since I can remember, the thought of rubber against my skin has me tingling in the nether regions.
It began when I was a kid, when I found a swimming cap left behind in the changing room at our local pool.
I loved the feel of it and stuffed it in my bag instead of handing it in at reception.
Now I have a big collection of them and I rub myself off on them all the time.
But unfortunately, my obsession with rubber has landed me in trouble.
I told my latest girlfriend, who freaked out and whipped me in the face with a floral number I was trying to get her to wear when I shagged her.
Now I’m all confused and don’t know what to do next. Am I a twisted pervert or what?
JJ, Humberside
Kelly says…
NO, but try a fetish website for friends. Dear Kelly, LAST week I went to a lingerie party at a girlie pal’s house.
The usual selection of saucy undies and dildos got passed around, with comments such as “That’s the size of my fella’s” or “That’s twice as big as his”.
We’d all had a few drinks and the conversation moved on to a debate about whose bloke was the most well-endowed.
I’ve measured my man’s and it is nine inches when erect.
I’m proud to say that he uses it well and expertly fills all my holes with it!
But one gobby girl at the party wanted to bet £100 that her bloke had the biggest.
I can’t afford to lose £100, but I could also do with the money.
But is it worth gambling on it? MB, west Midlands
Kelly says…
IF you can’t afford to lose £100, don’t risk it. Just enjoy his length!