The impending race

After this seemingly never-ending restriction of movement apart from picking up groceries and trudging around the block for exercise for the umpteenth time, we are (fingers, toes and legs crossed) getting to that distant light at the end of the tunnel.

But I seem to be getting more paranoid about our eventual release day. Why? Because I have a reoccurring nightmare which is as follows: I open my eyes and we are sitting in the front of our just-out-of-mothballed motorhome, staring at the road at the end of our driveway. The seconds on the clock are slowly clicking down to zero hour when we will all be released to freedom. Only a few minutes left and the tension is getting unbearable as I tighten the grip on the steering wheel. It’s like being Clint Eastwood about to go into a gunfight, eyes squinting, looking slowly left and then right, checking out the road for the route of escape.

The seconds still disappearing, a bead of nervous sweat trickles down my face and hangs from my nose.

All of a sudden a pigeon flies out of a bush next to me and, like a released coiled spring, I go for the ignition key! False alarm, count to 10 and breathe slowly, regain control.

The anticipation is nearly toilet-worthy, but I can’t leave my post. No delays can be allowed.

More seconds and minutes painfully pass until the countdown reaches its climax and we are released. We are off ! Down the driveway onto the road and away, the sound of thousands of motorhomes firing up fills the air, it feels like the Klondike Gold Rush all over again.

But this is when the doubts creep in, questions such as Is it a giant hoax and Boris will shout, “Go home and save

lives” again?

Did I forget to lock the front door?

Did I put the alcohol on board?

Did I pack my mankini?

Is there a pizza-shaped fungus growing on the BBQ in the

boot as I haven’t cleaned it since last year?

How many other campers, caravanners and motorhomers are already jockeying for position on the highways and byways in front of us?

How many days can you spend stationary in the middle lane of the M6 in a jam before you can light the BBQ and get the bangers on (fungus pizza permitting)?

All this leads me to the serious point of all this build up to get away for a deserved break.

Is there job title called a ‘pitch banker’? Someone who sits somewhere with a pen, pad and calculator, by a phone waiting for calls to come in registering new pitches to add to the main pitch bank list. I wonder how many pitches are out there, big sites, small sites, CLs, farms, pubs, plots and private land, etc.

Has this ever been calculated or estimated to find out if the availability in relation to the potential new total amount of people who want to book a stay? Are there enough to go round as the past year, plus this year’s camping take up is so large? Staycation is the ‘in’ word and the demand for pitches has got to have shot up massively.

Am I worrying for no reason (another bead of sweat has just appeared)? Is there plenty of room for all comers or will we be reduced to endlessly ringing around to find out that everywhere is full and a holiday on our front driveways will be the new, new staycation?

Are there any figures? Can somebody “make my day”? Steve Marsh and copilot Sandra

ED I don’t think there are any definitive figures as to exactly how many campsite pitches there are as we have sites opening and closing and pop-up sites appearing. Yes, we do foresee demand possibly outstripping supply in peak areas and peak times this year. But maybe 2021 is the year for exploration and for discovering those lesser-trodden areas.

Try Campsite Finder on outandaboutlive.co.uk and, while you’re on the website, do sign up for our free e-newsletters as we often get notified of availability at sites and let subscribers know about these in the e-newsletters.