High site fees

Many letters have featured recently that, quite rightly, comment on the everincreasing cost of staying on some sites (April, p14).

However, the reason in many cases is clear as some folk appear to want facilities beyond what would ever have been expected on a campsite a few years ago. The everincreasing size of pitches is also a major factor and I think I know the reason for this.

Take as an example, the new fully serviced pitches for a Premier Park (April, p25) where, apparently, more than 20 pitches average 23m by 12m. Twenty-three metres! Picture the scene as to why a pitch needs to be this size.

You have mortgaged your house to pay for your stay and are comfortably parked up in the corner of your mega-pitch in your 6.36m ’van. Across the expanse of empty hardstanding in front of your ’van, you can see the occupants of the pitch opposite arriving. A large Land Rover Discovery Sport is towing an even larger, twinaxle, wide-bodied caravan of some description.

You choke on your gin and tonic as the monstrosity is manoeuvred onto the pitch and then an awning/circus tent is erected on the side. The ‘Disco’ (I am told that is what posh people call them) is parked up tight to the front of the caravan, allowing room for the second ‘additional vehicle’ containing five children and a dog to just about squeeze in beside the circus tent. You finish off the bottle of gin.

The following morning, ‘caravan man’ is heard talking to the warden who has asked if everything is OK. ‘Caravan man’ observes that the pitches are a ‘bit tight’ and are there any plans to put in some bigger pitches any time soon. An extra couple of EHUs would also be useful to allow the popcorn maker to be used.

Fortunately, ‘caravan man’ informed the warden that he noted that the drunk couple in the ‘silly little van thing’ on the pitch opposite had plenty of spare room and when they sobered up, he was going to ask if he could park the ‘Disco’ on their pitch. He was sure they would not mind.

So, there you have it. Big caravan plus circus tent equals big pitch. Big pitch equals fewer pitches equals higher cost. Simple.

Stephen ‘small van syndrome’ Dunnett