CHRIS ISAAK
The retro rocker, thesp and (Australian) X Factor judge, in his own words and by his own hand.
I’d describe myself as… hard working. In some ways I’m practical and in some ways I’m completely not. When I talk to my manager I realise I have a lot of ideas that are completely unrealistic – you know, why don’t we bring in a car or an elephant on-stage? I don’t know if I’m a sociopath, but there’s a part of me that goes, if everyone’s going one direction, I’ll go the other.
Music changed me by… by giving me a way to talk to other people and sing my emotions. When I’m on-stage I’m outgoing and gregarious but in real life I’m not. I think about what else I would’ve liked to have done, and I think I would’ve enjoyed being a criminal. I’m not a tough guy, but part of me goes, the hours are good and you get to plan things, a caper, which is kind of like planning a show.
When I’m not making music I’m… my biggest hobby is cartooning. I like Charles Addams who did The Addams Family. My drawings, there’s a mix, everything from Disney cartoons to hardcore pornography, real sexual stuff, embarrassingly in your face and direct, filthy cartoons for filth’s sake! To me, sex is pretty funny stuff. My brother told me once, you draw what you want, and I hope that’s not the case, because I’d be institutionalised.
My biggest vice is… when I walk past a store that has pencils and pens and art supplies I can’t stop myself. I burn through ’em, God yeah.
The last time I was embarrassed was… when I did something that went against my nature. I wouldn’t want to cause somebody discomfort with something I said.
My formal qualifications are… I graduated from college, I was a communication arts and English Literature major, and my subject was Victorian English. I read a lot of poems, and as my friends used to say, you’ll never get a job. The best qualification I have, though, is I’m really pretty good at roofing – tar roofs, shingle roofs.
The last time I cried was… last month. I played a song for someone, and every time I play that song I cry. It’s by Amália Rodrigues, a beautiful singer, she’s kind of a legend in Portugal, and the song is Coimbra. I dunno why but it brings me back to another place, to somebody I used to know, and boom, out come the tears. Even saying it now just chokes me up.
Vinyl, CD or MP3?… it doesn’t make any difference. The song’s the thing.
My most treasured possession is… I have things that were my dad’s, who’s passed away now, and those things mean a lot to me. Some of his tie clips, and a 1960s green suit. My dad was not well-to-do, he was a very workingclass guy, and he only had a couple suits and they were second-hand when he bought ’em. I’ve worn that suit on-stage.
The best book I’ve read is… The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello. He wrote ridiculous letters to the heads of companies and politicians and they took them seriously and wrote back. Every time I read it I laugh out loud.
Is the glass half-full or half-empty? … I can’t find the glass. I’m messed up, man!
My greatest regret is… when I was young and fell in love, I think I didn’t show my love to the person I was first in love with. That person passed away at a very young age. I did get to see her before she passed away and got to tell her, and she said, “But you were great.” There was a moment I stood outside her house and we said goodbye and I knew as I walked away it was the last time we’d meet. I walked down the street, got in my car and just fell apart.
When we die… I want heaven as depicted in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer films. I have high hopes.
I would like to be remembered as… a good guy to work with, and if I was your friend I’d back you up, no questions. I think that’s the greatest tribute you know? That you’d be a loyal friend.