JOHN LYDON
The PiL and Pistol agitator in his own words and by his own hand.
As he prepares to unveil a new collection of his visual art, Johnny gets with the Self-Portrait programme, and tells us about booze, indolence and the rusty suit of psychic armour he’s trying to take off.
I’d describe myself as… fucking ugly! I like to present myself as arrogant and aloof sometimes, on TV interviews in particular, because I found out years ago that’s the best defence in the world. I think I’ve built, over the years, a fucking great suit of armour, which in the last five years I’ve been trying to dismantle, but it’s rusted in places and hard to get off. Generally speaking I’m really quiet.
Music changed me… positively, for the best, at a very early age. My mum and dad always played music and always bought records. When they had parties I loved to be the DJ… putting the records on the Dansette stack and watching the automatic arm drop them, it utterly fascinated me. A very Irish thing too, and a very Jamaican thing. It was a very mixed neighbourhood [in Finsbury Park] so you grew up listening to a lot of different aspects of music, and you were prejudice-free because of that.
When I’m not making music… I’m doing very little. Occasionally I take a look at the ocean, but I don’t really have any hobbies apart from drawing. And there’s TV watching, and long periods of indolence. The trouble is I’ve got one of those Robin Williams-type heads of non-stop gabble. There’s a billion thoughts crashing into each other. My biggest vice is… I don’t know. I would never consider alcohol as a vice. I call that a luxury. The last time I was embarrassed was… all the time! Shy as hell, I am. So what do I do? I walk into a career where it’s the opposite. That’s how it works, once I’m on-stage all the fears, the nerves, everything is gone. My formal qualifications are… I passed all my exams except Maths – I can’t count to 10! – to ‘A’ level, I got five ‘A’s, History, Geography, English Language and Literature, and the other one might’ve been Technical Drawing, which I loved.
The last time I cried was… I’m capable of a real good tearjerk if there’s some kind of sloshy romantic tragedy film on, or just hearing of any death. I feel an attachment to every human being, and I don’t know how to cope with the sadness of it. George Michael there, kicking the bucket, I felt really bad and sorry for him. He died alone, and there’s no need for that, but that’s what this industry does. The showbiz side comes at a heavy price. Vinyl, CD or MP3?… Vinyl first, CD second, everything else is a mess. It’s a waste of time listening to anything on a computer, it’s a two dimensional version of what should be a three dimensional excitement. To put it simply – where’s the bass? My most treasured possession is… Silly little things like the PiL ring that [friend] Rambo made for me when PiL first started, when he was a jeweller. And paintings, some of them by [wife] Norah’s ex-husband. Gifts from fans… and a lot of drawings. The best book I’ve read is… The Public Image by Muriel Spark. It’s not a great book, but the idea of a self-centred actress slowly destroying herself and everyone around her – I thought, “That’s not what I’m going to do.”
Is the glass half-full or half-empty? …I always make sure it’s bloody full to the top! I ain’t leaving the bar ‘til there’s nothing left.
My greatest regret is… the death of anyone. It seems sadness is a necessity, you need to go through grief in order to understand it fully, and cope with the next load of grief that’s on its way, in between the hysterical comedy acts.
When we die… God knows. Hahaha! I think that’s it, you cease to exist. I’m a complete atheist. This is to me why life should be led to the fullest.
I would like to be remembered… hilariously. And accurately. I admire people who die with a sense of humour, too, whether it be WC Fields or Oscar Wilde. It’s so helpful to those who are left living. Saying that, I’ll probably die screaming like a baby!
Mr Rotten’s Songbook is out on March 31. For more info go to johnlydon.com
“I FEEL AN ATTACHMENT TO EVERY HUMAN BEING.”