GIMME FIVE… TEETH-RELATED RELEASES

Lonnie Johnson & Victoria Spivey

Toothache Blues Pts 1 and 2 (OKEH, 1930)

Over amused, strolling piano, ‘Queen’ Victoria laments her pain while Lonnie assures her he has the solution. Cue references to drilling, cavities, cocaine and liquor. Definitely not about sex.

Steely Dan

Your Gold Teeth (ABC, 1973)

Gambling, getting your way and temptation are debated over typically virtuosic grooves, polish and abstrusity, with gold gnashers used to tell the future. For contrast, see the more reflective Your Gold Teeth II from 1975. Extraordinary guitar solos!

The Lone Ranger

Apprentice Dentist (STUDIO ONE, 1977)

The reggae DJ loosely discusses a new job opportunity, with a sudden trip to the hospital emergency room. And big up Keith Hudson, who was known as the Ghetto Dentist for his ‘street’ practice – he once treated Big Youth’s bad teeth.

The Mekons

Teeth (VIRGIN, 1980)

Synths and rock meet violins in a gloomy diagnosis of a still-pertinent malaise, with false teeth as the passport to happiness. See also The Mekons’ two-volume Hen’s Teeth And Other Lost Fragments Of Unpopular Culture odds’n’sods comps.

Lady Gaga

Born This Way (BRAVADO, 2011)

More a format than a song, but anyway

– this ‘Brush Buddies’ memory stick-cum-toothbrush plays Gaga while you scrub your pearly whites, preferably after snacking on your dress made out of raw beef. Includes her song Teeth, of course.