THE BOATAHOLIC
Nick Burnham: I groped beneath the seat, finding them with my fingers. Off. Off. Oh!
Why is it that whenever I launch my boat, the weather is terrible? This year it wasn’t actually raining for once, but stood by the river on the pontoon, watching the boat slip into the slate grey water as the wind howled around me, it didn’t exactly feel summery!
In fact, the boat was being launched a day early. I move it ashore each winter partly because I think it’s good practice – the engine can be winterised, the boat stripped of soft furnishings, and heaters and dehumidifiers installed. But also because Town Dock Marina, where my boat lives, is notoriously boisterous in strong Easterly gales, prevalent through the winter. So it was with some irony that my early launch date was due to an Easterly gale forecast for the next day. The first, in fact, of the entire winter!
So we’d come down at the weekend, my friend Adrian and I, and moved the tonne of stuff that had been clogging up my spare room back on board. I sometimes think I should launch and speed check the boat before we load the clobber back on; I reckon I’d get another two knots out of it! It’s an entire Ford
Focus Estate’s worth (fortunately Adrian drives a Ford Focus Estate, otherwise I’d really be in trouble).
All that was left to do was fit the radio and plotter, remove the canopy, don my lifejacket and wait. I was taking the boat back to Torquay alone – self-isolation style. I’d also switched on the battery charger for a final boost while I waited for the crane.
Once launched and moored to the pontoon, I hopped aboard and snatched up the engine hatch. I don’t know why being ashore for five months fills me with concern about the boat’s watertight integrity but I always have to check immediately. That done, it was just the simple task of starting the engine, slipping the lines and heading down river. I turned the key. There was some clicking from the engine bay, the shriek of the engine alarm, but no reassuring whirr of the starter. Bugger!
A falling tide and the drying temporary pontoon focused the mind. I leapt ashore, raced to the boatyard office and breathlessly explained that it wouldn’t start. They directed me to a couple of on site engineering firms, one of which is AK Marine Services. I headed for the quarry where the boats were kept, found one of the employees and explained my problem. He’d be there in five minutes, he promised. I headed dejectedly back to the boat. True to his word, five minutes later the AK Marine Transit van was on the slip with an engineer clutching jump leads and a battery. As I have a triple battery installation, the first job was to try linking across them with jump leads. Still nothing. He looked puzzled, the batteries seemed fine. Could I try turning the battery isolator switches off and back on? I groped beneath the seat, finding them with my fingers. Off. Off. Oh! The third one was already off… I shamefacedly flicked them all back on and tried the key again, the starter whirred and the engine fired. Oops. I handed my knight in shining overalls a generous ‘drink’, slipped the lines and hightailed it out of there. After that, the trip home was fairly uneventful.