PARTY PRINCESS
A magical few days on board Boats.co.uk’s latest Princess 88 charter vessel gives a glimpse of just how special a charter holiday can be
Given the number of boats we write about in MBY, it might come as a surprise how rarely we get to enjoy them as they’re meant to be enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a pleasure and privilege to sea trial all those fabulous craft but most of the time that involves running up and down a familiar stretch of British coastline measuring speed, noise and fuel consumption while taking notes and making sure the photographer gets the photos and video we need.
Cruising somewhere just for the sake of it is a rare luxury, let alone eating or sleeping on board or, heaven forbid, having friends and family to share those experiences with.
But every now and again we get a brief chance to pull back the curtain and immerse ourselves in the kind of boating that we spend most of our days dreaming about. So when an email dropped into my inbox inviting us to spend a few days on board Boats.co.uk’s latest charter boat J4, a Princess 88 based in Palma Mallorca, I felt it was my journalistic duty to take one for the team! And given that no paying guest would ever choose to share their precious holiday time with a mere scribbler, I am even allowed to fill the other seven beds with family and friends so that I can get a taste of the full ‘charter experience’. Needless to say, I never knew I had so many friends keen to show-off their boating skills!
I can’t say the run-up to our four-day booking at the beginning of July was entirely relaxing. Rising Covid rates in both the UK and Spain and constant changes in travel rules and testing regulations, not to mention the risk of being pinged by the dreaded NHS app meant we never truly relaxed until we were all safely on the plane. Once we’d worked out how to fill out the various Spanish health forms and show our vaccination passes it was no different to any other flight, but stepping onto foreign soil after 18 months of lockdowns, it all felt strangely illicit, like we were a bunch of schoolkids bunking off school for a few days.
HAPPY DAYS
The sight of J4 sparkling in the mid-morning sunshine in Palma’s Marina Moll Vell soon puts paid to that, especially when we are welcomed on board by J4’s smartly dressed crew bearing glasses of chilled champagne. We already know our captain Paul and his partner/chef/chief stew/deckhand Victoria from a previous charter holiday, so there is none of the usual awkwardness as guests and crew size each other up. The minute we step across the passerelle, we are instantly at ease. We still have to go through the motions of the safety briefing before the real fun starts but that only serves to heighten the anticipation.
If you’ve ever watched an episode of the ghastly yet compelling reality TV show Below Decks about life on board a charter yacht, you’ll know how the tour of the boat unfolds, but there is something truly magical about being shown round a properly luxurious boat for the first time, especially if your guests have never been on one before. And J4 is right up there with the best.
Stepping through the big glass doors into the Princess 88’s saloon with its floor-to-ceiling windows, plush sofas and folding balcony is like walking into another world. You don’t just put your shoes in the basket before crossing the threshold, you park your worries there too. The minute our toes sink into that lush silk carpet, we know we’re in for something special. And the cabins are in a different league. All three double guest cabins have ensuite bathrooms with big, comfy beds, large hull windows and all the amenities from built-in televisions and
USB sockets to fluffy white towelling robes and Molten Brown toiletries. There is even a box of chocolates resting on our beds.
There is something truly magical about a properly luxurious boat
And then there’s the owner’s suite. The only downside of being the ‘primary’ charter guest is that, however generous you may at first appear to your friends, the minute they see your cabin they’ll know where they really stand in the pecking order. It is quite simply immense with a bed the size of a trampoline, windows like cinema screens and a bathroom stolen from the Burj Al Arab. It even has an actual bath in it, right next to one of the hull windows, so you can wallow up to your neck in scented bubbles while gazing out across the sea.
Trying our best not to feel like impostors on some other, much wealthier, person’s holiday, my wife and I unpack our solitary suitcase into our absurdly large walk-in wardrobe, spread our meagre collection of clothes across as many drawers and hanging lockers as possible in a vain attempt to fill the space, then make our way back up to the main deck where Paul and Victoria are busy preparing to leave the dock, while new recruit Martha is already serving up another round of drinks to our excited and thirsty guests. I’ve filled out our preference sheet with what seemed like an embarrassingly large quantity of rosé but at this rate we’ll have run dry before we leave harbour!
I’ve left it to Paul to come up with a suggested itinerary, requesting only that we head west out of
Palma, having already explored the east coast on a previous trip in 2019. He knows these waters as well as anyone and will be a far better judge of how to make the most of our time on board, particularly since I’ve asked him to find some quiet calas where we can swim, play with the ship’s toys and, if conditions allow, sleep at anchor. Lines cast, we ease out of our front row berth in the shadow of Palma’s magnificent cathedral and head out past the serried ranks of ever larger, grander superyachts that cluster here every summer like lions around a watering hole. For once, however, it feels like we’re one of the big cats rather than the skittish little antelope trying not to end up as someone else’s supper.
HERE BE DRAGONS
Once free of the harbour walls, Paul turns J4’s mighty prow to starboard and settles into a comfortable 12-knot trot past Portals, Palma Nova, Nikki beach and the infamous fleshpots of Magaluf to Cap de Cala Figuera before heading north-west towards the narrow strait separating the small islet of Dragonera from Mallorca itself. As we squeeze through this bottleneck,
the cooling breeze drops and the landscape starts to change from the more built-up south coast with its luxury villas, sprawling hotels and parasol strewn beaches to the wilder, rugged cliffs of the north coast. Here the sun-baked mountains rise from the sea like mythical creatures, baring their rocky teeth and spiny back plates against the onset of civilization. Too steep to farm and too remote to build on, they rule this coastline largely untroubled by human intervention.
Every now and then we catch sight of an old turret or farmstead clinging to the rocks like a solitary limpet but for the most part it’s miles and miles of scorched ochre earth, emerald green trees and virgin blue sky. The only sign of life along this stretch of the west coast is the occasional flying fish that erupts from our wake and skitters across the surface, its elongated fins flickering in the sunlight like dragonfly wings.
We’re not entirely alone because Mallorca is truly the Mecca of motor boats and every bay, however large or small, has a smattering of craft bobbing at anchor or buzzing from one to the next like bees in a flower bed. It’s a boat spotter’s wet dream with Fjords, Frauschers and Rivas seemingly the standard currency in these parts, along with what appears to be the entire model lineup of Princesses, Fairlines and Sunseekers, including the very first 90 Ocean to roll off the line.
My daydreaming is interrupted by news of lunch on the flybridge. The teak feels warm underfoot as I make my way up the steps to find a veritable feast already laid out. Dark slivers of sweet Iberico ham, glistening nuggets of sizzling chorizo, fiery red peppers stuffed with cream cheese, Mallorcan meatballs in rich tomato sauce, fresh bread still warm from the oven and a cheeseboard groaning with local delights all washed down with a crisp local white while watching the coastline scroll past. Life doesn’t get much better than this.
The teak feels warm underfoot as I make my way up the steps to find a veritable feast already laid out
By the time we’ve slept it off on the foredeck sunpads, we’re pulling into a sheltered bay called Cala de ses Ortigues. It’s still only 6pm and there are so many other boats occupying the best spots close to shore that we pootle a bit further up the coast to see if we can find a quieter spot. We make a few phone calls to check on our teenagers back home – the reception on this side of the island is patchy, forcing us to put down our phones and forget about work for a while.
By the time we return, the daytrippers have all headed back to port, leaving us alone with just one other boat in the bay. There’s still enough daylight to slip into the sea for a refreshing swim before supper in the blissfully warm, clear waters. A quick shower on the bathing platform to wash off the salt, then we change into evening wear for gin and tonics on the foredeck while watching the sun sink slowly below the horizon. Despite our long, late lunch Victoria has found time to whip up another three-course meal of pear carpaccio marinated in lime and honey with a pistachio crumb and roquefort quenelle, followed by smoked cod and roasted Mediterranean vegetables on quinoa with a toffee cheesecake to follow. Served on the flybridge with the sunroof open so we can eat under the stars and lit by candlelight and the dying embers of the day, it is the perfect end to a perfect day.
We drop anchor a little further offshore so we can launch our full arsenal of toys including a Williams Sportjet with wakeboard and skis
THE BIG GAME
Waking to sunlight reflecting off the water onto the master cabin’s ceiling isn’t a bad way to start the morning even if the sound of the generator and gentle swish of the stabilising fins takes a bit of getting used to at night. By the time I drag myself out of bed, one of our guests has already swum round the deserted bay, a blissful experience spoilt only by a nasty-looking jellyfish sting on his face and shoulder. The promise of freshly baked croissants, piping hot coffee, granola, yoghurt and honey soon distracts him and while we guzzle it down, the crew quietly up anchor and start to motor further up the coast towards another spectacular bay called Punta de sa Foradada, otherwise known as elephant head rock.
It’s clearly a popular spot for larger boats as there are already several other 70-100ft motor and sailing yachts huddled under the cliffs. We drop anchor a little further offshore so we can launch our full arsenal of toys including a pair of Seabobs, a motorised surfboard, two paddleboards and a Williams Sportjet complete with wakeboard and skis. We spend the rest of the day playing, with an impressive display of monoskiing from two of our guests. The Seabobs win – whether scooting along the surface or diving 2.5 meters into the saphire blue seas, they are exhilarating yet easy to use for guests of all ages and abilities.
Tired but happy, we up anchor in the late afternoon and cruise slowly round the headland to Port de Soller where Paul has booked a berth for the night. It’s the evening of the European cup final and we are keen to watch England’s big match on a suitably big screen. As ever the crew is one step ahead of us and while Victoria is busy booking us into a quayside restaurant, Paul manages to swing a berth next to the Sunseeker 90 Ocean we’d seen earlier in the day. He knows the captain and rumour has it they’ve got a state-of-the art projector screen on the foredeck. Sure enough by the time we return from dinner, kick-off is imminent and by parking ourselves on the foredeck of J4 we enjoy a fine view of our neighbour’s big screen. Shame about the result but the heavenly setting and steady flow of beers from the galley soon take the edge off it.
CHAMPAGNE MOMENT
With the wind forecast to pick up later in the day, we decide to make the most of our morning in Soller by firing up the flybridge hot tub that has been calling to the girls for the last couple of days. Because it can’t be left full underway, it’s a bit of a mission to fill and heat but we use the time to wander round town and indulge in a spot of shopping. Arms laden with pretty new sundresses and gifts for the kids, the girls soon slip back into their bikinis for a decadent hot tub moment with the obligatory glass of champagne.
We had planned to spend our final night on a swing mooring in Andratx but with the wind threatening to make this a disturbed night and the risk of an even more uncomfortable cruise back to Palma, Paul suggests we skip Andratx and enjoy our final night out on the town back in Palma. As ever it was a good call and we spend a very relaxed day spread out on the sunbeds enjoying the constantly changing view and the endless flow of cool drinks and Victoria’s fabulous cooking as we make our way back. We stop off in Palmanova for a final afternoon of swimming, paddling and Seabobbing in amongst an even more spectacular array of superyachts before heading back to our berth.
An inspired restaurant recommendation from Paul involves a bit of a hike through Palma old town to a fabulously old school Mallorcan restaurant called Celler Sa Premsa, where we feast on grilled prawns, padron peppers and juicy steaks topped off by a celebratory cocktail or two in the legendary Bar Abaco. Here, barrowloads of fresh fruit and flowers, accompanied by rousing classical music and drinks the size of goldfish bowls, provide a suitably Bacchanalian finale to our weekend of hedonism.
ALL GOOD THINGS
Heads slightly the worse for wear, we wake on our last morning to find another magnificent breakfast waiting for us on the flybridge. Bathed in sunlight and surrounded by superyachts and palm trees with a backdrop of Palma cathedral, it is a fitting end to a magical few days. When it comes to our final farewell to the crew, I am so overcome with emotion I struggle to choke back the tears.
Spectacular as J4 is, holidays should never be judged on the trappings of luxury nor the size of the cheque you write, but on the memories you make and the experiences you share with people you love.
Those precious few days we spent together being expertly pampered and entertained under the watchful eye of Paul, Victoria and Martha, will never be forgotten by any of us, especially after the year we’ve just had.
If you can afford to splash out on a holiday of a lifetime, I guarantee you J4 and her crew will deliver on every conceivable level.