Mental health
The articles by Chris Moss and Maynard Hershon about mental health and motorcycling in the February 2022 issue encouraged many readers to respond. Clearly an important topic that touches many lives. Here’s a small selection of the letters we received.
JUST LUCKY
I identify strongly with Maynard’s three from four. My Dad beat me severely with a belt from about the age of six, through heavy punching in my early teens and then kicking me out of home at 16.
I have an Autistic daughter in her late 30s, who now has a reasonably contented lifestyle in supported living. It took me 16 years of battling ‘Educational Specialists’ to get a diagnosis and many years of supporting her through periods of isolation, depression and self-harm. Society is not supportive of Special Needs people and some individuals can be cruel and vindictive. I spoke to many parents during three transformative years my daughter spent at a residential college in Yorkshire and they all confirmed their kids had the same treatment.
However, this experience has also taught me tolerance, to seek understanding of others, and their needs for wellbeing.
My parents are now in their 90s and will not have carer support in their house, so now they rely totally on my brother and I for all their support in daily life.
Everyone will go through difficult times in their life and some will be affected differently to others, there’s no shame in that.
Support costs nothing but it’s value can be priceless.
Anon.
MENTAL HEALTH ARTICLE
Just read your article in MSL, which I’ve subscribed to for many years. Road bikes since 1971, my wife on back since we met in 1978.
May 2018 a lorry driver reversed on a country road for 30 metres over 11 seconds without getting out to check behind him. His reversing camera wasn’t working. We were sitting still, bike in neutral. Never stood a chance.
Isabel was killed. I had ribs broken in18 places; pelvis fractured in three places; smashed hip; rib through each lung; one through my liver. When I got out of hospital early for Isabel’s funeral, I got two of my Blood Bike pals from our group to lead her to her final resting place.
A year to the day, my daughter came back from Oz when she heard I was going back on a bike. Wanted to be daddy’s first pillion back. We rode from Scotland to my cousins in Ireland and spent a week there.
Was great to do, as they said, if I ever walked again, I wouldn’t walk right. I did. I had huge PTSD, as I can still remember every second under that lorry. Bought a new Bonnie, which I’d admired since the 70s. Ironically, it arrived a year to the day after Isabel’s funeral. Sure she was pulling strings there.
If I hadn’t got back on the bike, I don’t know if I’d still be here. Don’t know if it’s ‘Don’t let the bastards beat you’ attitude, or that free feeling on a bike that you shouldn’t let go.
Still on bikes. More power to your elbow, you’re doing great things on the mag.
Keep the faith.
Anon.
FATHERS AND SONS
The issue Maynard raised about sons and fathers. Being both, I can relate to the problems related to interactions between sons and fathers.
I can recall times when I have been critical and unsupportive of my father. Never a major argument, but simply unneeded and not following the Commandment, ‘Honour thy father and thy mother’, and occasions when I have been unsympathetic and hard on my sons.
My thoughts turn to a basic animal behaviour and, after all, we are animals even if we are categorised as ‘human’ animals. That behaviour has its roots in the male defending his tribe/family against challengers looking for access to the/his females. We see this particularly in bovines, deer and sheep. This leads animals to cast out their sons as they become mature and a possible challenge to the old man.
It can be amplified by the relationship between sons and mothers, with the mother defending the son. I know my relationship with my mother was stronger than with my father and she would go a long way to provide the care and attention. Here is a motorcycle-based example. When at university in London I would travel home on my motorbike (RE 350 Bullet) for the weekend, setting off at 11pm, no motorway, just the A6 to Lancashire. Arriving at around 3am, Mum would always get up and cook me bacon and eggs.
I don’t say that my father was not supportive of me, but I always felt that he was more supportive of my sister. Now at my advanced age with both parents deceased I have a feeling of regret that I didn’t try harder to get to know my dad.
Anon.