What could possibly go wrong?

Some tours are easy to plan and run, others are not. This was definitely one of the more challenging ones…

Over years of planning and arranging tours, there have been many challenges. Some were sought out, some appeared from the unknown, and some were foisted upon us. This latest one was a bit unusual, though… When we got asked to help out with some route planning and leading a group heading to the Goodwood Revival we were keen to help out. The bikes would be big cruisers and the tour a relaxed two-day ride through the south of England. Where is the challenge in that, you might think? We thought that as well.

The challenge arrived in dribs and drabs. The first drib was that we needed to start in central London. On big cruisers. The welcome dinner was being staged at The Bike Shed so we were starting close by the next morning. The next drib was that the route needed to include Milton Keynes and Oxford. And then the drabs started coming.

Drab: There were going to be 24 bikes, in three groups of eight. The guests were nearly all international. They were flying directly to London and their first experience of riding in the UK, on the left-hand side of the road, was going to be wielding several hundred kilograms of cruiser at super-low speeds through London traffic, in the forgiving and friendly morning rush-hour. So, nothing to worry about there then.

Drab: No one, except our three tour leaders, would have anyway to navigate, except to follow the leader. Now, we specifically don’t run ‘duckling’ tours. Everyone gets GPS routes, route notes and maps. It allows people to be independent if they wish, so having a fleet of monster cruisers throbbing through the metropolis with its bus lanes and red routes, with no stopping or regrouping, sounded like it could be a bit of a challenge.

With the parameters of who, when and how many established, we needed to work out the where between the set points we had been given.

Drab: ‘We need some exciting riding, lots of hairpins with great backdrops and scenery, photo stops and...’ ‘Hang on! We have got to start in central London and ride to Milton Keynes and you want Alpine hairpins, with the French Riviera as a backdrop?’ ‘Yes, please.’

Now. I don’t have anything against the city of a thousand roundabouts, but it is not the French Riviera, and the prime London commuter real estate of Herts and Bucks is not well known for its Alpine landscapes and hairpin bends. The challenges were forming a neat pile in the corner of the office that was starting to look a bit ominous.

This two-day ride ended up taking four days in the office planning and researching, and three reccy runs. We ran it. We ran it again with the local agent. We ran it again with three of the manufacturer’s team, the local agent and the two photographers. In the office we had found a hairpin, just one, and on the road it was even more photogenic than on the web. We found some fantastic scenery and 10 potential photo stops, of which the snappers really liked three, including the hairpin. We didn’t find a Riviera-style seafront, but we did find plenty of cruiser-appropriate backdrops. With the foundations laid, all that was left was to escort our three groups successfully around the route.

When the day came, we had one more challenge to deal with. HM Queen Elizabeth II was lying in state, and London was awash with visitors and police. I cannot recall seeing so many blue light vehicles in one place ever before. From marked vans full of bobbies from all over the UK, to a seemingly endless number of unmarked black estates and 4x4s all racing urgently from a to b, or possibly f, lit up like a bad police disco. The most surprising was a pair of BMW S1000XRs in black, riders in black, sporting rucksacks lit up on blues tearing through the traffic.

Despite all the challenges, the unfortunate but immovable timing and the London traffic, the whole thing went off amazingly smoothly. No one got lost, no one got left behind, and we arrived at our destination with lots of big smiles, mutual backpatting, and all with the very shiny sides the right way up.

There are some challenges that I look forward to. Compared to getting 24 cruisers out of London in one piece, negotiating Marrakech with 10 riders the next week looked like a walk in the park.

I hope I am proved right!