High tech low tech

Despite what many people may think, not all us old folk are luddites bemoaning the use of innovative technology on new bikes. I, for one, don’t have a problem with it if it serves a good purpose and doesn’t distract the rider from what they are doing or make them over-confident and reliant on the tech to keep them safe. I’m old enough to remember the compulsory introduction of car seat belts; the wearing of crash hats; ABS brakes and air bags. All of these created an increase in certain accident rates as some drivers and riders felt immortal and over-confident.

But that’s all an aside. My real grief is that many bike manufacturers still fail to give us the simpler and often lower tech features that very many of us must provide for ourselves. Let me run through my personal top five list of what I would like to see as standard on all road bikes: 1: MIRRORS. Ones that actually work and give a clear vibrationfree view behind you. For example, my BMW RT mirrors mostly show my legs and arms and those of my pillion and very little of the road behind. They are utter rubbish and whoever designed them needs a good talking to. I have yet to own a bike (and I have had many) which haven’t needed improvements in this area. Why don’t manufactures add a rear-view camera as well to make better use of these TFT screens that they seem so keen to provide us with?

2: HEATED GRIPS. These should be fitted on all road bikes. This is the UK, it gets cold here, even in summer. Who hasn’t found themselves out late on summer evenings wearing thin gloves, only to feel that painful numbness start to creep in as the sun goes down and wind chill bites. Some of us also ride all-year around

(surprise surprise), so we need these and fitting them as an accessory is always a pain, especially now with modern high tech Can Bus wiring.

3: SECURITY. Why aren’t all bikes fitted as standard with an immobiliser, alarm and tracker? Surely bike manufacturers, like many car manufacturers, will soon be, if not now, using global positioning technology to monitor bikes wherever they are and also to remotely update software, resolve breakdowns, recognise accidents and call for assistance. So this same tech could also be used to provide low-cost tracking of stolen bikes. Then what about something as simple as a locking centre stand? It’s not easy to push away a bike with its centre stand locked down. Also, modern bikes are useless lumps without a working ECU. So why not design one where part of the ECU module is quickly removable so that it completely immobilises that bike? It also then makes it far less valuable even if broken for spares. Perhaps this removeable component could also double-up as the bike’s ignition key.

4: BATTERY CHARGER POINT. Why aren’t remote access points included for charging batteries. On my RE Interceptor the battery is buried in the centre of the bike, requiring two side panels, various bolts, screws and clips to even get sight of the terminals. It would be near impossible to jump-start this bike. Again this is the UK, many bikes are laid up over winter so need trickle charging if not being used. Why don’t bikes come already wired with a trickle charger on board and a simple-to-access external plug socket and mains lead?

5: RUST AND CORROSION PROTECTION. Why is it that my car, which has sat outside in all weathers for the last 10 years, is blemish-free, whilst all my bikes start to show rust on fasteners and other steel components as well as oxidisation on aluminium parts within just a few years, despite being always put away clean and dry and stored in my centrally heated garage? Have manufacturers never heard of stainless steel or titanium? Should I really have to spray ACF 50 or its equivalent everywhere every year just to hold back the otherwise inevitable rapid deterioration?

I could go on (auto chain lube, comfortable saddles, headlight bulb access, secure storage, etc., etc.) and no doubt other readers will have their own personal gripes.

All these, apart from the locking centre stand (I’m still working on that), are things that I and many others have to spend time and money on to resolve. We all know they are an issue because a considerable accessories market has developed to help solve these very same issues. So why don’t bike manufacturers recognise this and just include them as standard?

Okay, they might claim that it adds to the cost and, of course, there will always be the odd soul who would resent paying for something they don’t use, but isn’t that true of the functionality of many things we buy (smartphones, PCs, TVs, cars, to name but a few)?

Surely these features would cost far less if they we standardised and integrated into the design of the bike.

Of course, some innovations are great and there are even things we didn’t know we needed until we got them (heated seats for example – bliss).

But innovation for innovation’s sake can be a big waste of time and that’s often how some of it feels. Especially when there are already such big gaps in the fulfilment of more basic needs and wants.

By the way, love the magazine. Martin Ellis