Older Mum Energy
For Shirley-Ann O’Neill (48) who lives in West Derby in Liverpool with her partner and daughter Mollie, becoming a mum at 43 changed her perspective on ageing.
“Having a child later in life has made me determined to stay fit and healthy,” says Shirley-Ann. “I intend to live to 101 to be there for my daughter, which I call the 101 plan.
“Before I had Mollie, I had an expensive gym membership which I used in phases and stopped going when life got busy. Since becoming a mum, I’ve upped my game in a different way and have a 30-minute daily walk in the park, and do lots of activities with Mollie – yoga, bike rides, roller-skating, and swimming – which is better than paying for the gym. I’m fitter than I’ve ever been, and it feels effortless as it’s fun – though I may need to stop the piggyback rides soon, as she’s getting heavy!
“I have friends over ten years younger than me with children Mollie’s age, which is important as we’re at the same stage of parenthood and they’re part of my support network.
“I try not to compare myself, as I don’t feel older mentally, but I’m aware of not dressing older.
“My aunts had children in their mid-40s, and it kept them youthful, even now into their mid-80s, with an old-school resilience and a refreshing outlook – life is for living.
“My Aunt Jean, aged 84, has been hands-on, making clothes, babysitting and even travelling with us to the US and Ireland to visit family. She’s a true inspiration and role model, so it stops me from worrying about ageing.”
This approach has paid off in making Shirley-Ann feel fitter than 10 years ago, as she is much more active.
“I also feel more confident and certain about life,” she says “I don’t worry about the small stuff, as it generally takes care of itself. I try to eat healthily most of the time and have upped my intake of fresh fruit and veg.
“I’ve become intentional, and focused on how I spend my time. I’m more productive working fewer hours, based from home a lot of the time. I love travelling – and taking time off to have adventures with Mollie which has contributed to my well-being.”
This zest for life inspired Shirley-Anne to co-found the Visual Artists Association, a support company for professional artists, during lockdown. More than 30,000 artists globally have joined this online community and they employ eight staff. Shirley-Ann published her first book in November last year, Good Art Does Not Sell Itself, which has become an international bestseller on Amazon.
“In my spare time, I enjoy museums and art galleries, as being creative gives me a new perspective and helps my well-being. I also practise gratitude – not a day goes by when I don’t thank my lucky stars. I feel blessed.”
When Hayley Field (48), a health strategist/coach from Poole, broke her back in 2014 it forced her to reappraise every area of her life.
“I broke my back doing a workout,” says Hayley. “In hospital they discovered I had spondylolisthesis, and had more than 20 historical fractures in my back. I’d been breaking my back my whole life without knowing.”
The healing process was physically and mentally tough. Hayley’s spine had fused incorrectly, causing permanent nerve damage in her left leg, and leading to another operation.
“I’d gone from working out regularly to being bed-bound waiting for surgery, and unable to do all the things I loved afterwards. I’d lost my social life, self-worth and identity – and strong pain medication made the sense of isolation worse,” she says.
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“At my 12-month check the surgeon was horrified I’d been at the gym – under supervision – and said I’d damage the fusion and break the screws. “That language affected me mentally, being desperate to exercise, but terrified I’d make things worse. As a freelance IT consultant, I lost my contract which was really difficult financially. I’d studied nutrition previously so started my business from my sickbed, with just a laptop and no other income.”
Over the next five years, progress was sporadic. “I lived alone during lockdown – I walked a lot, did online workouts for clients and found motivation and inspiration by helping them,” says Hayley. “Seeing how they dealt with struggles and setbacks was humbling and made me think I could be fit again. I was very aware that what I was telling them in coaching conversations was what I needed to hear myself.
“My return to fitness was cemented by going back to CrossFit, finding my current gym, where I’ve made new friends, receive loads of great coaching and encouragement, and help my fellow members with nutrition challenges and advice.
“I have a low level of pain every day… I have to deal with it and with great coaches around me, I feel safe to do this. I’m doing the Ultra Challenge, a series of events including eight continuous 100km walks, to raise money for MIND and The Strong Girl Squad to help girls embrace strength training.
“I’m proud I overcame such a horrific injury that had such a huge impact on my mental health, that I didn’t just ‘settle’ and think I couldn’t achieve things I’ve never done before.
“I eat well because I want to make it as easy as possible for my body to continue to lift weights, walk 100kms, and anything else I ask of it, for years to come, but I also eat cake because that’s good for my emotional wellbeing.
“Having a sense of purpose, to help other people be as healthy as possible, for as long as possible, contributes hugely to my sense of wellbeing. “