Chris Pascoe’s Fun Tales
If it was good enough for Stalin and Hannibal… Chris ponders ethical dilemmas
Maya’s been studying the 1930s and 40s at school. She’d kept quiet on the subject, possibly because they were secretive times, but in the car while we were on holiday, I remarked to Lorraine how badly a council had behaved with regard to some forced evictions. My daughter Maya piped up, “Well, it’s not as bad as what Stalin did, is it?”
This wasn’t a question, more a statement of fact and I couldn’t find any way to argue with it. If only I’d had this tool as a youngster – think all the groundings I could have avoided.
If I thought Maya’s comparisons were a little skewed, it appears she’s not alone. A little further into the journey, I finally suggested that comparisons with Stalin were always going to cast most people in a favourable light. Maya’s best friend, also confusingly named Maya, answered, “I can relate to that; when I won’t go out in the rain, my mum says, ‘It was worse for Hannibal in the Alps’.”
So, are these the official new units of tolerance? As bad as what Stalin did and Hannibal in the Alps?
The only certainty here was that Maya Two’s Mum was helping with her ancient history studies – people don’t generally cite weather conditions in 218BC as a means of forcing their daughter to the bus stop.
On the subject of Maya’s best friend also being named Maya, and both looking quite similar (sulky, angry… basically teenagerish), having introduced them to someone at a fete, I was asked if they were sisters. Really? Would we really have named both our daughters Maya?
You may well have been given the impression from the above that Maya Two was also in our car, but she wasn’t. She was on a mobile phone screen. During the entire journey, Maya Two remained on screen, and basically travelled all the way to Norfolk with us. Maya One even pointed her phone at points of interest so Maya Two could take them in.
It didn’t end there. Her face accompanied us to dinner, propped up against the condiments and watching our every move. As the holiday progressed, it soon became clear that our assertion that we were going to have a family holiday, just the three of us, so that Maya One would be forced to speak to us, wasn’t coming to fruition. Our daughter had smuggled a friend on holiday in her mobile phone. Modern communications – a way to prevent communication.
I’ll tell you more about our holiday next week, because the sleepy little seaside town appeared to be harbouring a dark secret, and I intended to get to the bottom of it. With or without Maya’s help.
Think of all the groundings I could have avoided if I’ d known this