He’s Become A Garden Pest
Ihave a neighbour who is becoming a real nuisance. He’s retired, and kindly offered to help with my garden when I was struggling to manage it. That was wonderful and I appreciate his help, but he has taken over. I don’t seem to be able to step out of my door without him being there. He’s a widower and I think he’s lonely, but I’m beginning to feel a prisoner in my own home. How do I tell him this without hurting his feelings?
Ah… an awkward scenario indeed and one that you probably didn’t see coming! I’m sure that you began by being full of gratitude to have someone manage your garden for you – as we all would – but it must feel difficult to rein it all back, especially as your neighbour feels he’s a bit of a fixture.
I suspect that you make him a coffee or give other refreshment, too.
Hard as this may feel right now, you do have to talk to him. Ask how he fills his time – does he have his own garden, does he have an allotment, does he know of others who would value his help? Does he have children or grandchildren and does he see them?
When you know more about his situation it should be easier to suggest a new routine – for example, coming around just once or twice a week for specific tasks such as cutting the grass or watering.
Divide up the tasks between you and tell him that you now want to get more involved with the garden – especially as he’s “started you off” in such a brilliant way!
By suggesting a change in a friendly way, you can get your control back.
Find out about his situation and how he fills his time so you can suggest positive changes