My Weekly

Should I Ask Mum To Clear The Clutter?


My mum and stepfather have just downsized and moved in to a lovely new flat. I had hoped that this would give them the opportunit­y to get rid of all the junk that swamped their old house, however my mum seems to have simply taken it all with her! Their new place is already a tip, but if I try to say something, my stepfather accuses me of picking on her. I think my mum is depressed, but I just don’t know where to start to address this.

How sad to move to a lovely new flat and then take so much clutter with you when the idea was to downsize. However, parents can be stubborn and resent inter ference from their children.

I sense that you are a regular visitor and I can understand how you want the new place to be a restful environmen­t.

Perhaps your stepfather holds the key here since he gets upset when you tackle your mother. Why not spend some time with him and try to find out

how he feels about the clutter – and if he thinks your mother is depressed? She may be holding on to all her familiar things if the move has been a bigger wrench than anyone realised, and she feels disorienta­ted having moved from her familiar surroundin­gs.

Tr y to introduce small changes of non-threatenin­g space clearing. Move very slowly. There are experts who are skilled in sensitive declutteri­ng and you could benefit from outside help. Some organisati­ons use a more psychologi­cal approach ( WWW.PEOPLEFIRS­TINFO.ORG.UK/) or there are teams who declutter in a day!

Either way, do get your stepfather’s help and encourage them both. Your mother is lucky she has a loving family around her, and with gentle but consistent manoeuvrin­g, her home can be the space she needs to flourish.

Get your stepfather on board and introduce small, non-threatenin­g space clearings

 ??  ?? She may need the security
She may need the security

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