Life After David

Eve learns to cope after her partner walks out

Eve probably should have expected it. But like most things in life, she never saw it coming. It hit her like a bolt out of the blue.

Except there was nothing blue about it. Dismal grey was a far better description of the day that followed the never ending night. Hours spent pacing her flat, staring through a window into the darkness, her reflection confirming how lost and alone she felt.

And as if the unremitting gloom wasn’t enough, and David leaving not sufficiently depressing, Eve now noticed the coffee jar was completely empty.

“Hit a girl when she’s down,” she murmured to herself, pouring boiling water into the jar, swirling it gently around to glean every last bit of caffeine stuck to the sides. The inch of pale brown liquid tasted of burnt boiled water, and for one brief moment she considered trying David’s blackcurrant tea. Then she remembered. He even took that with him. That’s how final this break was. She tipped the disgusting liquid down the sink and decided she had no choice now but to leave the haven of her flat. She hadn’t been out for forty-eight hours, but her need for coffee now bordered on manic.

David always said she drank too much coffee. He would click his tongue disapprovingly, watching as she scooped large teaspoons of strong granules out of the jar and into her mug. “It’s drying.” he said. “Drying?” “Your skin, Eve. Drinking coffee is the fastest way to age.”

Was it? If she’d cared once, she certainly didn’t now. She needed coffee, and she needed it now.

Eve pulled up the polo neck of her jumper, hoping to disappear into it, then stepped out of her front door into the greyness that now was her life. Maybe she should have brushed her hair. Put a flick of mascara on. The must-do essentials of “life-with-David” hadn’t occurred to her. No one would care. No one would notice her at all.

Except that child maybe, staring at her from across the street. She was about eight or nine, or maybe six or seven. Eve had no idea about children. She didn’t have children. One day she assumed she would, but David wasn’t ready yet, he said.

“I don’t want to share you with anyone,” he used to say whenever children were mentioned. At first, that made her feel special. She wasn’t worried, he was bound to change his mind once they were married. She couldn’t remember when she first noticed his irritation around children, and complete disinterest whenever babies were talked about. After a while, Eve stopped mentioning children.

The morning mist clung to her sweater as she ploughed on, determined to push thoughts of David from of her mind. He was probably wearing his faded green rugby shirt now.

His Saturday shirt he used to call it. She started to walk quicker, trying not to think about David in his rugby shirt, lounging full length on the settee, drinking blackcurrant tea. In another girl’s flat. Probably a girl who had no time for either coffee or children.

The morning air was caked in fine damp drizzle. “Oh god, rain hair,” she muttered from the depths of her polo jumper. “Hair disaster.” She knew it wouldn’t be long before each strand would start to curl and twist and do whatever took its fancy.

David had bought her a pair of expensive hair straighteners last Christmas. David liked sleek shiny hair.

‘I daresay the new woman in his life

has hair like spun silk,’ Eve thought, dodging yesterday’s puddles.

She kept walking, arms folded tightly across her body, remembering an article she read once about body language. Folded arms means “Keep Out” – a barrier against the world. Who would want to get close to her? Girls needed smooth straight hair and slim thighs to get a man. And David had warned her repeatedly she was putting on weight.

Breeze from nowhere whipped around the corner. Eve promised herself a chocolate biscuit with her coffee when she got home. One more wouldn’t make any difference, not after the four packets she’d eaten since he left.

“You’re not disciplined enough, Eve” David’s voice came back to haunt her. ”You need will power and self-discipline to get a good body”

Eve laughed hollowly beneath the polo neck. A good body wasn’t all he got at the gym. At least she assumed that’s where he met her…

The supermarket suddenly appeared

“You’re not DISCIPLINED enough Eve.” David’s voice came back to HAUNT her

in the swirling mist. Relieved to have finally arrived, Eve headed straight for the aisle where good coffee was stacked.

“Eve! Hi! What on earth are you doing out with no coat?” There was a short laugh, “Oh my God I sound like your mother!” Eve recognised Steph’s voice straightaway.

“Hi Steph, just buying coffee.” Did she need to explain that?

Steph gave her a caring, what-onearth-have-you-done-to-yourself look.

“I heard about you and David,” she said sympathetically. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Eve had no idea she could lie so quickly and confidently. She even managed a strange sort of strangled smile as she spoke. She could feel the ends of her hair twirling up in uncontrollable curls as she stood there. An oversized reject with freaky hair, shapeless jumper and addiction to caffeine.

“Anyway, I’m so glad I’ve bumped into you,” Steph continued cheerfully. “We’re all meeting down the Golden Goose tonight, eight o’clock. Why not get yourself glammed up and come down? Everyone would love to see you. You haven’t been down there for ages.”

Eve knew that was true. David didn’t like her friends. Too loud, he said. Raucous, he’d described them. “I’ve got enough friends for both of us,” he told her, more than once.

Steph was waiting for an answer. She smiled. “Eight o’clock, Eve. Okay?” She turned to leave. “By the way, Eve, your hair’s looking great.” she called over her shoulder. “Suits you all wavy. I don’t know why you don’t wear it like that more often.”

Then she strode confidently off towards the main entrance, mud splatters staining the hems of her boot leg jeans and bright red hair flowing behind her.

Eve paid for the coffee and walked outside. Already the sky was clearing slightly, a hint of blue finally appearing between the grey clouds. She touched her hair, bouncy and free as it dried in the morning air. It had been a while since it had felt like that.

Steph said it suited her. Did it? Did it really look okay without an hour of straightening and styling?

Back at her flat, Eve made a mug of strong coffee, stuck the last biscuit in her mouth before she could change her mind, then searched out her black silk dress from the back of the wardrobe.

“Black drains your colour, Eve,” David had said. “It doesn’t do a thing for you.” She never wore it after that.

After soaking in a hot soapy bath, Eve wrapped herself in an oversized fluffy pink towel. With two more coffees inside her, and her favourite music playing softly in the background, she began to feel her body slowly relax. Finally, she was ready for the dress.

It slipped over her figure perfectly, despite the chocolate biscuits. It didn’t seem to drain the colour from her, in fact it looked rather nice she thought. For the first time in two days she put on make-up. Then running her fingers through her hair, let it curl and fall in a messy heap around her head.

She could almost hear David’s words of disapproval. ‘Surely you’re going to straighten your hair, Eve? You can’t go out like that.’

Grabbing the bright green coat David said made her look like a lamp shade, and after one more satisfied glance at her reflection, she finally left the flat.

Steph, impossible to miss with her mass of ginger hair, waved madly at her as she arrived. They were all there. Friends she once knew so well. Still taking over the far corner of the pub as if they owned it, noisy as ever. Laughing and talking together about everything and anything. It felt ridiculously good to see them.

Feeling as free as a bird, Eve smiled and waved back, then pushed her way towards them.