Bereaved And Alone With My Anger
This is very difficult for me to write, but my husband of 30 years died over a year ago and I’m finding it almost impossible to move on. The problem is that my marriage was not the happy one everyone around me thinks it was. How do I mourn a man who cheated on me numerous times? And how will I ever stop feeling so angry at him for all those wasted years?
Iwas sad to read your letter as it contains so much pain. You knew him better than anyone else – his good points as well as his flaws – so you alone have to make it right for yourself. There is so much to gain now from finding a new freedom to forgive and embrace what life can offer you now as you go forwards.
Easy to say, I know – but it is your life to shape as you see fit, and there are
people out there who can help you. It’s time to focus on the future – as the past is gone.
That is not to say that you have to do it alone. There is help available, either through your GP or Cruse Bereavement Care – WWW.CRUSE.ORG.UK
It is entirely normal for the grieving process to last for some time before a new sense of self and attitude can really take root. The bad times and the good must both be addressed, and you should allow yourself to feel anger as you process the past.
There is no shame in any of this. Take each day one at a time as you move through your feelings. They will evolve with time. Trust that.
But please talk to close friends about how you feel – and please do get some help. The future is beckoning…
Allow yourself to feel anger as you process the past. Your feelings will evolve