Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week
I Can’t Control My Wild Grandson
Iam my four-year-old grandson’s biggest fan, but even I have to admit that he is wild. He runs everywhere, never sits still and is a real live wire. I can cope with that – it’s normal for his age, after all – but he never does what I tell him to, either. I dread meeting any of my friends when I’m out with him because he’s so wilful. My daughter doesn’t seem to have a problem with him, though – so why won’t he do a thing I say?
Imust say how wonder ful it is that you are able to spend time with your grandson. Is there a difference between a real “live-wire” as you put it, and a child who is out of (your) control?
You say you can cope, but it seems there is an element of worry – maybe you are confused, and this could be transmitting mixed messages. If you approve yet disapprove of his behaviour he may be unclear on his boundaries.
I can also understand that a fouryear-old “storm” is hard to manage. You say your daughter appears to cope well, and I suspect she has a different understanding with him as they are together most of the time.
All children are different – some more docile, others more active. At four it is difficult to grasp adult concepts, especially the word “no”. Perhaps your grandson is one of those who simply take less notice of his grandparents.
The only other issue is whether he has a hyperactivity syndrome. Hyperactivity has many characteristics, but this is a medical problem that needs a visit to his GP.
Apart from that, my advice is to continue to be available to him and to try to and be consistent with your boundary setting. You’ll both benefit – as will your friends! HTTPS://BIT.LY/2BTQD2J
Maybe you are transmitting mixed messages on whether you approve of his behaviour
Enjoy your time with him
A s someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I feel I have been around the block – and back – a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and passionately feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved -– at the very least.