Ask Helen
Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week
Take the judgment out of this, and return to the belief that you want to help others
Am I Just A Charitable Fool?
While out in town with my daughter the other day, I gave a few pound coins to a homeless lad sitting on our high street. My daughter took me to task and told me about the stories in the press about gangs of fake beggars. Now I’m not at all sure about giving (or not giving!) to people on the street. Am I being taken for a mug? I now dread venturing into town and seeing all these people – I’m damned if I do give, and hate myself if I don’t!
How lovely to hear from you as someone who really cares about homelessness and as someone who tries to make a difference – I applaud you, as would most of the rest of us.
Of course, we all hear about begging as a job – and it can be lucrative too. And yes, it can be in organised groups.
However, do you believe that doing a little when you can, as you describe, is ever wrong? On some occasions it may not be used appropriately but giving with
a positive attitude is always good. I wonder what you fear? Being judged by the beggar or being made a fool of? Or not doing enough? It would be good to take the judgment out of this, and return to the belief that you want to help others, which is an admirable starting point…
What you can do is a little research. If there are gangs in your area, someone must know. That is the job of local police. There are other ways of giving where you know the destination is an official charity.
However, it seems you are more concerned for the truly destitute. My advice is to carry on with small donations and if you’re still concerned, research how you could help with tackling the problem with a charity too – but only if your lifestyle affords this. It is so much better than doing nothing, and you are already helping more than most.