Dancing In The Street

New beginnings

There was NO ONE to tell me that I couldn’t DANCE, that I was stupid

The busker was there again. With his gravelly voice and cute dog. He strummed his guitar as his dog high-fived those who put money in the hat. It made me smile.

The dog that is. The busker was not bad either with his lean looks, designer stubble and long dark hair. But I was off men. Greg had seen to that.

I put money in the hat and got a high-five from the dog as the busker finished his piece. “What’s your dog’s name?” “Tess, she’s a mixed breed,” he said, anticipating my next question. “And no doubt your best friend.” “You’ve got it in a oner,” he said, grinning and then holding out his hand. “I’m Luke.” “Leah,” I said, slightly surprised. Did people introduce themselves just like that? I was out of step with social graces and interacting with people, especially men. I almost expected Greg to be behind me and demanding, Whois that?Doyoufancyhim?

But Greg was long gone. Although not from my head. I was working on it. “I like your voice,” I said. And I meant it. It had the power to send shivers down my spine. He had nice, even teeth, strong teeth. I could see that when he smiled. “Thanks.” And that was me stymied. I had lost the ability to flirt or to even carry on a casual conversation with a stranger. I took a step back. “Well, see ya.” “I hope so,” he replied. Or at least that’s what I think he said. But I could be imagining it.

Behind me Luke started to strum a Leonard Cohen song, DanceMetothe EndofLove. I loved that song. There was something so poignant about it that it could reduce me to tears. I felt it enter my bones and stir my soul.

And so, on a cold January day rimed by frost and with shoppers milling about, I stopped, closed my eyes and started to sway to the music. My body screamed to dance, but my mind resisted. The past versus what I had become. “Dance me to your beauty…” Slowly Luke’s voice worked its way into my body, lifted me up and carried me away. The street, the shops, the sound of cars ceased to exist and I began to dance.

There was no one telling me I couldn’t dance, no one telling me I was stupid, no one telling me that no other man would even look at me. I was me and I was in the moment. Deep within that core of myself that knew no boundaries – only what I felt. I twirled, l stretched my arms and extended my line, using my body to express the music, to convey an indescribable longing deep within me.

“Dance me to the end of love… dance me to the end of love…”

As Luke’s voice faded to an almost broken murmur there was a complete silence – before the applause!

Dazed, I stared round at the crowd who had stopped to watch. It had been a long time since I had been on stage and heard that sound. Money was dropping into the hat and Tess was busy high-fiving as Luke stared at me.

“That was amazing!” he said, and there was something in his eyes which said so much more. “I used to be a dancer,” I murmured. And the words usedtobe saddened me. I shrugged to make no big deal of my impulse to dance but Luke was not so easily put off. “They thought you were part of my act.” I looked down at Tess when she nuzzled my hand for attention.

“We just need to get you singing as well, don’t we?” “Don’t encourage her.” He laughed. “I must go,” I said, aware that my lunch hour was almost up. “I must get back to work.”

“See you around.”

See you around, I thought later, back in the office. How can I face him again? What had possessed me? That thought kept popping up while I sat at

my ddesk,k at t ththe photocopier, h t i at t ththe coffee machine… “I saw you dancing at lunchtime.” It was my boss, Malcom, seventy if he was a day. But that was OK because he owned the firm.

“It was very moving. You’re a wonderful dancer. Young Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

He prefixed most people’s name with “young”. It was one of his things. He had worked as a solicitor in the town for all of his career and he knew a lot of people. So, I wasn’t the least bit surprised that he knew the busker.

“Luke has an amazing quality to his voice. It’s so… emotional,” I said.

“Indeed,” said Malcolm. “And he has a lot to be emotional about. His girlfriend died right in front of him. A drunken driver mounted the pavement and killed her outright.”

It was too much. I could hardly concentrate on my work after hearing that. I wanted to run out of the office and give him a big hug. But I didn’t. That would give the wrong impression.

I batted down Malcolm’s words: young Lukecouldn’ttakehiseyesoffofyou.

I was off men.

Yep, I th thought ht l later t i in my flat fl t doing d i my stretching exercises, men were a definite no-no.

“Especially men with seductive voices,” I said aloud, as I made tea without the tea bags.

I graduated to popping some bubble wrap and still harbouring the same thought. Eventually I phoned my mum and told her what had happened.

“And you were dancing there – in the street?” she asked.

“I just couldn’t help myself, Mum. It was just so… so…”

“So right?” said my mum and I could hear the smile in her voice. “I guess so.” “Oh Leah, I am so proud of you! I’m getting my daughter back. So… what’s this Luke like?”

“He can sing. But I’m phoning to tell you about me dancing, not some man.” “If you say so.” Mothers! I thought later when I ended the call, they can be such a pain. I’m happy being on my own. And of course, I knew not all men were like Greg.

“I’m not stupid Mum,” I muttered to the wall. But I was stupid – at times. Aren’t we all?

The h next td day I couldn’t ld ’t bring b i myself lf to go out to my usual bakers for a roll. It would mean passing Luke. Instead I ate a sausage roll from a chain outlet which tasted like cardboard.

“Not dancing today?” asked Malcolm, surprised to find me in the office kitchen.

“That was just a one-off moment of insanity,” I said defensively.

“I think, young Leah, that was the sanest thing you have done in long while.”

I stared at my boss. He knew nothing of my past – or at least I didn’t think he did. Our relationship was purely business and not given to personal speculation.

He heaped two spoons of sugar into his coffee before turning to face me. “Get out there, young Leah, give life a chance. You’re a lovely girl and you deserve it.”

With that parting comment he left the kitchen. I closed my mouth and let out a deep breath. Was I going around wearing a tag with the word saddo round my neck? Or, was Malcolm just an old romantic like my mum?

I was not a saddo. I was a woman empowered. And the next day, to prove it, I walked past Luke. He nodded to me and then changed his tune to Roy Orbison’s PrettyWoman.

“Pretty woman walking down the street…” he sang. I laughed and started to sashay. I sashayed right into the bakers. I peeped out at him as I waited for my order. I would go to the park, that’s what I would do. It was cold but I needed the fresh air.

“Are you going to dance later?” asked the young girl behind the baker’s counter. “No, not today.” “You make a lovely couple.”

“We’re not a couple,” I said, grabbing my order and making a run for it.

I was out in the street and trying to stuff the order in my bag when I dropped my bottle of water. Tess the dog ran over and picked it up.

“Good girl,” I said, petting her as Luke sang PrettyWoman.

He was singing it for me. I knew he was but I didn’t know what to do about it. I was flustered and Tess wasn’t helping when she started to beg, pretty, please.

I looked towards Luke. He finished the song and came towards me, hitching his guitar round his back.

“I think she smells my food. I was just going to the park,” I muttered.

“Would you mind if we tag along? Tess could do with a walk.” “Oh… OK…” That’s all it took. One word. Strange, because in my day dreams about Luke – there I’ve admitted to fantasising about him – I was witty and flirty, dazzling him with my personality. But the truth was, when he gathered up his things and bought his own food, I found myself tongue-tied. And to make matters worse Luke didn’t feel the need to fill the silence.

Instead, as Tess led the way, he just seemed content to walk beside me.

“Tess seems to know where’s she’s going,” I said eventually.

“Tess loves the park. She’s a rescue dog and when I first got her she didn’t know what grass was.”

The dog glance back at the sound of her name and I could swear she was actually smiling.

“You wouldn’t think that to look at her now,” I said.

“No, she’s moved on. Dogs have a great capacity to love. We can learn a lot from them.”

I hadn’t expected that. Unconsciously or otherwise, Luke had hit a chord. “True,” I murmured. “Sorry,” he said later when we were seated on a park bench and throwing a ball for Tess to play catch. “Even though I can sing for you I’m not into small talk.” “You sing very well.” “I wasn’t fishing for compliments. But now we’re on the subject, you can dance very well.”

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments either.” I smiled.

We both looked at the clouds scudding across the sky then laughed.

“I think,” he said, “that would count as small talk.” “Probably.” “It’s just that it’s been a while since I’ve been interested in anyone.” “My boss, Malcolm Hendry,” I said, touched about his admission and deciding to be open with him, “He told me about your girlfriend.” “Malcom, my godfather. You work for him?” “Your godfather!” I exclaimed, beginning to make sense of Malcom’s remark, “I didn’t know.” We chatted then about my boss until Luke made a remark about Malcolm being there for him when he most needed him. “He’s great. In his own way he helped me put my life back together again.” “Do you…?” I started and then stopped. I had no right to ask but I didn’t want to skirt round the issue. “Do you ever get over a thing like that?” That was badly put and for a while Luke didn’t speak, giving his whole attention to Tess. “Not really,” he finally replied. “Linda and I had been together for four years. But you learn to work round it and create a space in which to live and even enjoy your life again.” He paused. “And you, Leah, what’s your story?” I could have asked him what he meant but I didn’t. He had been honest with me and I could only reciprocate. “I married a jealous man who wanted to control every aspect of my life. He tried to isolate me from my family and friends.” “And now?” “And now I’m rid of him. We divorced two years ago and I’ve moved on.” And in that moment, I knew I had. The future was full of possibilities and it was up to me to make of it what I could. “Good,” he said, grinning. “Shall we take a walk?” And do you know something? It felt right being there with Luke. Tess ran around our feet, excited. And her excitement was contagious. I was walking now but, I had a feeling that pretty soon I would be dancing.

He was SINGING for me, but I was FLUSTERED, didn’t know what to do