Ask Helen
Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week A Rift Over Our Retirement Plans
Both hubby and I will be retiring in about five years’ time and we’ve been talking about relocating. He fancies a cottage in a small village in the middle of nowhere, while I can’t think of anything worse. I want to be near shops, doctors, dentists and our families, and not have to get in the car to fetch a pint of milk! What started off as a light-hearted debate has taken a nasty turn and we’re barely speaking.
Retirement is indeed a massive change. Your whole world will soon be feeling different and you both must be aware of that. Both of you will have to face all that newfound available time.
The other major factor is that you will have to adjust to being together far more. Retirement is an opportunity for you both. Do you have hobbies and interests – separate and together? A dance class is often suggested as a great way forward, both to learn a
new skill and also do it as a team.
After thinking through these issues, it might be a good time for a heart to heart. Choose somewhere relaxed and fun and ask yourselves, what are the top five things you each want most? Divide these into categories – health, educational/ recreational, social. Separate activities are good; you can chat about what you’ve each been doing when you get home.
Where you live is important, and not to be rushed into. Perhaps there’s a midway point. A smaller home on the edge of a country town may give both privacy and access. Or perhaps a smaller downsized version of what you have but with amazing new features will tick the boxes – you decide…
Compromise is the name of the game – but retirement is never only about where you live!
Where you live is important, and certainly not a decision to be rushed into