Ask Helen
Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week Your family might even be grateful for the suggestion – habits can be changed
As someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I have been around the block a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved – at the very least.
This is a very normal concern and one expressed by many of us! On one hand, they bring the world into your reach, enabling you to keep in touch with friends and family. But there are downsides. I have watched people in the street looking at their phones, bumping into others and lamp--posts! And I can see it would feel like rejection if your grandchildren seem to prefer spending time online to interacting with you.
Can you suggest to your son or daughter that gatherings or mealtimes could be designated a no-phone zone? A short ban may be tolerable for young people. In fact your family might be grateful. We can all get into habits, but these can change with a bit of focus and attention. You could also share the following information with your children: The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) recently reclassified mobile phones. The UN agency has fallen short of saying mobile phones are hazardous, but classified them as possibly carcinogenic – ie. may cause cancer when children are adults.
In addition, most of our learned social behaviour comes from interacting, doing things together that cause laughter or debate – not solitary messaging or gaming. So don’t give up! I’m sure you’ll find a middle way.