Ask Helen
Alcohol loosens inhibitions. When someone says a bad thing, it reflects badly on them
As someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I have been around the block a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved – at the very least.
Ican sympathise with this temporary feeling of injustice! We all need support at times, and it’s natural to look to our partners to give that support. It makes us feel valued.
You mention that the slight occurred during a boozy night. In my experience, words can often be more extreme when there is a loosening of inhibition caused by the alcohol. One is more likely to be disappointed and let down in such situations. That is not an excuse, but might be helpful in tempering the sting of the remark you have been dwelling on.
Perhaps the person who offended you woke up the next day and was mortified – or perhaps they can’t even remember it? I am so impressed that you were able to have a long conversation with your husband the next day in which he apologised for not being there for you.
Where does this leave you now? You can’t turn the clock back. I understand that you still feel let down and not really satisfied – but when someone says a bad thing, it reflects badly on them. Your position is to try to be strong about it and turn it on them in your mind.
I am sure that some time passing will heal your hurt, and that your husband will have learned what matters to you and how to support you in the future. Try to turn negatives into positives.