Anthea Turn er How I See It...

I wanted to have a quick chat about your book of life…

We all have one. It’s your very own imaginar y scrap book lodged in your head, into which you paste everything that’s happened in your life, good and bad. Then every so often for no apparent reason you go through it. It’s a little trip down memory lane, but here is where the problem lies.

Why are we hard-wired to remember the bad stuff more than the good stuff? I’m no shrink but we all know it’s true. We like to torture ourselves with everything that went wrong, and when we do this we put ourselves in a hole. Added to which, in our day to day life we are so good at highlighting what’s going wrong, that we are in danger of not leaving enough space and missing all the good things.

The reason I mention this is because I was talking to a friend of mine over the weekend, who admittedly has had more than her fair share of ups and downs, but also huge success, with massive highs both professionally and personally. Yet every time she thumbs through the back pages of her life she gets stuck on all the bad ones, and I know they are eating away at her to the point of clouding her future – and more importantly her present.

Being dyslexic I’m a great believer in visualisation, so if this happens to you more than it should, my tip is have a picture of your book of life in your head. See it on a table, languishing there, maybe its pages blowing open in a light breeze… even give it a cover. And when you feel yourself delving into those destructive back chapters, immediately see it close shut – even with a lock and key designed to jolt you back into the present.

There was once an interview with Dolly Parton, a very upbeat, positive lady and the interviewer said, “Dolly, why are you always so happy?” Her answer was, “Because I choose to be.”

We all need a little Dolly in us during these testing times so on the blank pages not yet written, become your own editor and take the job seriously. Some things are going to end up on the cutting room floor but the good news is, it leaves you more space for the uplifting, positive stories that one day you’ll enjoy looking back on.