My Weekly

A Cat In A Cupboard

Spooky is doing her best to haunt the family’s new house…

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ast week I finally managed to summon up the strength to talk about getting the cats and rabbits over to the Isle of Wight, with very few problems apart from Ted the rabbit totally losing control of his bowels and his partner rabbit Billie almost having a heart attack (surprising­ly, the two incidents were unrelated). So how did they all settle in? I have to say, with mixed results.

Bodmin, our bruiser tomcat, having suffered greatly on the journey courtesy of being in the adjacent cage to Ted during his ‘episode’, seemed fine on arrival, exploring the house, discoverin­g umpteen possible places to sleep and had a good night’s rest. It was in the morning that his problems began.

Finally able to see clearly through a rear window, he discovered his garden had completely vanished and been replaced by something much smaller. He seemed stunned, ran upstairs, looked out of a bedroom window and was shell-shocked to see an expanse of water very much larger than the puddles in his old drive. Everything was out of proportion, and he’d had enough – either out of protest or to make a firm point to Ted on bowel control, he didn’t go to the toilet for three days. When he finally did, it almost gave everyone a heart attack.

Bodmin seems to have recovered his poise, but if it’s proportion­s that bother him, I’m just dreading the moment he sees his first Sea Eagle.

Not for nothing are they nicknamed ‘flying barn doors’.

Meanwhile, the other cats predictabl­y went into terror-mode. Jojo the haughty tortie forgot to sulk for two days, abandoned hating everyone and everything, and never left our sides. Her sister Spooky simply bunkered down in a cupboard and swore profusely at anyone who passed by (assuming that

Bodmin discovered his garden had completely vanished

hissing is swearing, which it probably is).

The rabbits have surprised us and for once, in Ted’s case, not in a bad way.

Upon arrival they instantly got straight back on with doing what they always do, which in a nutshell, is absolutely nothing. Ted settled down for a three-day nap interspers­ed with occasional waking moments of sheer madness, while Billie munched casually on hay, nose twitching, watching his every move, of which there were none.

We’ve come to believe that they don’t know they’ve moved. It’s possible they think they went on a very long circular trip, and are now simply back in the same house but in a different room (one that’s much nicer because it wasn’t me who painted and decorated it). There are moments though, when Ted suddenly wakes, sits bolt upright and stares at the ceiling in wonder. We’ve yet to work out what that’s all about.

As you know, this being an island, the goldfish was asked to make his own way here.

We’re still awaiting his arrival…

Of course, I’m joking. He’s safely in his tank, refusing to believe I exist, as is his way.

Our latest Fun Tales Collection, TheDaftest­Rabbit HopsAgain& OtherStori­es is available from WWW.DCTHOMSONS­HOP. CO.UK for just £7.99. www.myweekly.co.uk

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