Ask Helen
As someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I have been around the block a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved – at the very least.
Find out a bit more about your friend’s circumstances before taking it much further
Should I Meet Up With My Ex?
divorced and relish my freedom, but lockdown left me feeling lonely and I reconnected with an old boyfriend on Facebook. Our conversations really helped me stay sane. The problem is my family think I’ve lost my mind. My son especially thinks he’s dodgy, but he knows nothing about him. I’m not planning to get married, but I am planning to meet up with him. Am I, as my son says, being a silly old woman?
Lockdown has been such a strain for so many. Especially so if you are isolating and alone. Re-connecting with an old friend is a great way to brighten the loneliness. However, so much depends on the situation you are in, and your instincts as well as your common sense! Is your previous boyfriend also alone? Is he in good health? What are his circumstances with regard to children, grandchildren?
So many questions to answer to satisfy your family!
Perhaps you and they can get some answers from his Facebook account if you have access. There may well be other people that you both used to know who can be contacted. Why not engage your son in finding out a bit more about your old friend? This will involve your son, while proving to him (and yourself) that you are not the type to be taken for a ride. Just make sure that you find out more before taking it much further. As you say, you are not planning to get married. You are simply responding to ways of improving your sense of isolation. You are an independent woman and enjoy your life. And it may be that a fantastic journey full of excitement and fun is ahead. However, a bit of research does no harm either. Better safe than sorry.