‘At times we’ve wanted to kill each other!’
Imogen Tinkler, 39, launched a pop-up restaurant with her husband of nine years, Duncan, 39, in 2017. The “co-preneurs”, who live in Whitstable, Kent, with daughters Xanthe, four, and Athene, eight months, say “alone time” is key to the survival of their marriage.
I’d only given birth to our daughter two weeks before our first business event. As I rushed around operating the front of house for our pop-up restaurant, baby Xanthe strapped to my chest, I thought “Am I mad giving up a good job to run a business with my husband?”
Luckily, the event went so well that all my doubts were dispelled. From that moment we knew we could make our business a success – but how would that affect our marriage?
Duncan and I met in 2001 and married in 2013. We both put in long hours, me as a director of a children’s charity and Duncan in film and as a chef.
We dreamed of setting up a business together so we could spend more time with each other and planned to run pop-up restaurants in pubs that didn’t already offer food. We even had a name ready, Bangers and Balls.
In 2017 we put our plans into action. We thought it would be easy, but we had a fair few arguments at the start. I’m impatient and want everything to happen immediately, whereas Duncan is more realistic.
You also think your partner knows exactly what you’re thinking and when they don’t read your mind it can be frustrating. There were definitely times when we wanted to kill each other!
But when things got heated, I’d go off for a swim in the sea or he’d take the dog for a walk or go to our allotment. We’re not sulkers, so we’d soon talk things through and sort any issues quickly. We found a good balance.
In March 2020, days before the first lockdown, our premature daughter Beatrix died aged eight weeks. It was devastating losing her and we grieved together.
We couldn’t do the pop-ups any more because of Covid, so to keep busy we developed the foraging side of our business, teaching subscribers how to cook with wild food.
It was stressful, especially being reliant on one income, but we were passionate about what we were doing.
We have a one-to-one meeting every Thursday away
‘We know each other so well that we seem to be a bit psychic’
from the house so it feels more formal. It wouldn’t work to have a meeting over a cup of tea in the kitchen.
If there are difficult decisions to make, we often have a walking meeting because it’s less confrontational.
You have to be strong-minded and confident to work together. But although we’ve been through some difficult times, we love spending time together and we make a great team.
Duncan says: “The longer we work together the better we get at it. We complement each other. Sometimes we’re even a bit psychic because we know each other so well and that can be really useful when working together.”