I wouldn’t win it, but I’d love to do Strictly
JOE PASQUALE TALKS TO MARION McMULLEN ABOUT A LIFE IN COMEDY AS HE BEGINS HIS NEW TOUR
The tour is called The New Normal – 40 Years of Cack – Continued! and celebrates a career spanning more than four decades? How did it all begin for you?
I was 16 when I left school and I was a civil servant for a year. I worked for the Department of Transport and Environment – Dangerous Goods Branch. I just filed paperwork and made the tea really.
Then I got a job at Smithfield’s – the meat market, Dagenham, working with Ford Cortinas, a margarine factory, building sites... and I thought “I can’t do any of these until I retire at 65”, and then I got a job at holiday camp.
Someone sent off an application as a joke for me to go on TV talent show New Faces and applied for me without me even knowing. I got a letter saying come to an audition and I went. I didn’t have an act. I just went on and mucked about and I won the heat, came second in the grand final and never looked back.
Who gave you the best advice?
I was very lucky that Ken Dodd was on the New Faces judging panel and he had watched everything in the afternoon before the live show.
I went into make-up and he came and sat next to me. I was thinking, “Oh, my god, it’s Ken Dodd”, and he said: “Can I give you a bit of advice, son?” I thought he was going to tell me to go home, but he pulled out a bit of paper and he had my whole act written down word for word and he showed me how to move things around to get bigger laughs.
He said: “When you pull the rabbit out of your hat, put it down your trousers and shake it down your leg and it will give you an extra laugh.”
He gave me a couple of other jokes and said: “If you do this tonight, you’ll win it.” I did it and won it. He was amazing and we stayed friends until he died.
I was lucky I had some proper geniuses who helped me – Bob Monkhouse, Ken Dodd and Des O’Connor. They took me under their wing all three of them. They were mentors to me.
You were impaled on the antlers of a moose on your last tour. Is the moose being ditched this time around?
I’m actually making a safer, smaller version of the moose head now.
I was in Skegness and it was the second night of the tour and I was on stage after the curtain came down and there was this moose head with big horns lying on the floor.
My show is always like a [car] boot sale afterwards with stuff strewn everywhere and I tripped over in the darkness. I was in mid-air and spun and landed in the middle of the horns on my back, but the back of my leg landed straight onto one of them. The curtain was down, and everyone heard this big crash in the audience and I lifted the curtain up and said: “Don’t worry it’s only me.”
You needed hospital treatment afterwards. How are you
doing now?
I’m OK, but I still have a big scar on my leg. I put it on Instagram and the next day I’m reading the news feeds and they say: “Legendary comedian has near-death experience.” And I thought: “Oh, I wonder who that is? I’ve got to read that,” and my name and picture came up.
Is that the worst accident
you’ve had on stage?
Oh, no, I’ve done worst than that. I’ve dislocated my shoulder in panto, I’ve broken my foot, I’ve broken my hand and I was doing a bingo club once and I got my leg stuck in a hole and had to do my whole act with my leg in the hole and needed 15 stitches.
I’m quite accidentprone. I wonder every day: “What accident is it going to be today?”
You’ve done musicals and stage shows, won I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! and The Masked Singer last year as Dunny. Is there any other show you’d like to do?
I’d love to do Strictly. I did Dancing On Ice about 12 years ago, but I would love Strictly.
I know I’m never going to win it, but just to get the experience of doing that show and learning how to do some dancing, and get some ballroom dancing under my belt would be fantastic.
It was great to do musicals like Spamalot. I love Mel Brooks and did The Producers and I was Frank Spencer in the tour of Some Mother’s Do ’Ave ‘Em, so I’ve been very lucky. I like challenging myself. If someone says, “Can you do that?” I never say no, and if I can’t I learn how to do it before
rehearsals.
What are you looking forward to on tour?
My only job is to make myself laugh and everyone else laugh. If it ever felt like I job, I would stop it, because it’s too hard if you are not enjoying it.
I don’t do anything political, there’s no social commentary, there’s nothing in there that’s contentious.
I’m just like an 11-year-up there having a laugh. (Chuckles) I’ve never grown up really.
■ The New Normal – 40 Years of Cack – Continued! tours the country until November 23.
Visit joepasquale.com for ticket bookings.
I had some proper geniuses help me – Bob Monkhouse, Ken Dodd
and Des O’Connor
Joe Pasquale
THE conductor walked out dressed as Napoleon and it took Swedish group Abba just two minutes and 40 seconds to be crowned Eurovision winners with their catchy song Waterloo.
They beat off competition from British entry Olivia Newton-John, who finished fourth with Long Live Love, and contestants like Luxembourg’s Ireen Sheer, Norway’s Anne-Karine Strom and Romuald singing Celui Qui Reste Et Celui Qui S’en Va for Monaco. Gigliola Cinquetti, the 1964 winner, returned to the contest to represent Italy with her song Si and finished second. Irish contestant Tina Reynolds performed Cross Your Heart.
Eurovision was staged in the UK at the Brighton Dome even though Britain had not won the previous year. Winners Luxembourg did not wish to host the event again because of the heavy financial costs so Eurovision headed to Blighty and the seaside.
Britain’s Katie Boyle hosted the event for the fourth and final time 50 years ago on April 6, 1974, and she still holds the record for hosting Eurovision the most times.
Greece took part for the first time with singer Marinella representing the country with Krassi, Thalassa Ke T’agori Mou, which translates as Wine, Sea And My Boyfriend, but France had to withdraw from the contest following the death of French president Georges Pompidou the week leading up to the competition.
Abba – an acronym of the names of band members Agnetha Faltskog, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson and Anni-Frid “Frida” Lyngstad – had wanted to enter Eurovision a year earlier but their song Ring Ring failed to be chosen to represent Sweden. Their debut album was also called Ring Ring and is their lowest-selling album in the UK.
The band were undeterred though and tried Eurovision again. Waterloo proved a winner going to number one across Europe – although the UK awarded them zero points. On their way to the stage to collect their awards, Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus were almost stopped by security guards, who failed to recognise them.
Bjorn recalled of the competition: “We had two songs to choose from. One was more typical of Eurovision at that time. Waterloo was completely different from anything else that had been before but it was also risky. We chose it because it was more fun to perform. Take risks!”
The Eurovision win launched Abba on the international stage and they went on to produce eight studio albums, with numerous hits including Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!, Dancing Queen, Super Trouper, The Winner Takes It All and Mamma Mia.
They were particularly popular in Australia, where a 1976 TV Special by the band picked up more viewers than the moon landings. The UK cultivated a similar Abba obsession and a two-date show at London’s Royal Albert Hall in 1977 attracted 3.5 million ticket applications – enough to fill the venue 580 times.
The quartet held a newspaper competition in the early days to come up with a name and Baba, Alibaba, and FABB were all put forward before the group settled on Abba. There was already a Swedish fish-canning company, founded in 1838, called Abba who were particularly well-known for their pickled herring. After a short negotiation, the firm agreed to let the group use their name providing they did not bring it into disrepute.
This year’s Eurovision Song Contest will take place in Sweden in May and will mark the 50th anniversary of Abba’s 1974 win. The band, who have sold more than 400 million albums and singles, were the first competitors from the Nordic country and Sweden has since seen six more wins over the years.
They are one of the most successful acts on the UK Official Charts with nine UK number ones and 19 top 10 hits and their music is still being discovered by new generations of pop lovers. The group’s flamboyant and outlandish costumes, which included capes, flares, catsuits and platform heels, were part of their appeal.
The relationships between the quartet, and the demise of them, are part of the supergroup’s story.
Agnetha and Bjorn, as well as Frida and Benny, were married for a period and announcements of divorce changed the band’s happy image. Abba recorded some new music for the first time in 2018 – they first since they split in 1983.
The Swedish group have already said they will not be taking to the Eurovision stage for the 50th anniversary of their win, but the group’s achievement are still being celebrated.
Their hit album Waterloo is being reissued alongside a limited edition box set of the three vinyl singles originally released in 1974. The singles will also be available as separate picture discs and there is also a 10 inch vinyl disc featuring Waterloo in four different languages.
Brighton Dome is honouring its part in pop history with a plaque outside the building. Brighton Dome & Brighton Festival chief executive Andrew Comben says: “Fifty years since their Eurovision win, Abba’s music continues to bring people together across the world and we’re thrilled that Brighton Dome has played a part in their story.”
LESS than a third (31%) of women feel confident about investing their money, compared with 44% of men, according to a new survey.
What’s more, 34% said they don’t have enough savings to invest, while 63% of the women polled admitted they wouldn’t know where or how to start the process anyway, the research by HSBC UK found.
Relatable? “Women have never been taught to be as bullish as men,” says Bola Sol, qualified financial advisor and author of Your Money Life. “So they are not the first point of call when it comes to the notion of investing. Finance is still an old boy’s club and heavily male-dominated. And as a result, women won’t even dare to take the first step.
“Based on the gender and pension pay gap, women are sometimes afraid to make financial decisions – even if they are meticulously calculated.
“They are worried about who they can fall back on if things go wrong. Are they single? Or do they have a partner who works in the banking world? Do they have immigrant parents? What’s their class and demographic? Can they afford to take the financial risks?
“There are a lot of calculations going through women’s minds, so they just choose not to invest,” Bola adds.
So, how can women start investing?
Start with the basics
Claire Exley, head of advice and guidance at UK digital wealth manager Nutmeg, says if you’re employed and enrolled in your workplace pension, then the good news is, you’re already investing.
“Workplace pensions can be really valuable because there’s potentially two types of ‘free money’ on offer, contributions from your employer and the government tax relief,” explains Claire.
“For those looking to take the next step with investing, Individual Savings Accounts – or ISAs – are a good place to start if you have some extra money. ISAs have a £20,000 annual allowance with no tax on investment growth, and you can access your money at any point – but you should aim to invest for at least three to five years.”
Claire adds that if you’re new to investing, there are wealth manageservices who can assist. “You’ll answer some questions to help you understand how you feel about risk, you can choose an investment style that best suits you – for example, you may want to invest in a socially responsible way
– and the experts will manage it for you.”
Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Marianne Oliver, operations director at Invest Engine admits that: “In this industry, we are really bad for jargon. You can have different investment types, with so many different names.”
Not only is it ok to ask questions though, it’s wise to do so. Investing carries a degree of risk, so you want to make the right decisions for you and be well informed before making decisions.
Bola adds: “You don’t need to pick investing up quickly. I’ve been studying finance since I was in college – so that’s for 15 years – and there are still some things I still struggle to break down into layman’s terms.”
Figure out where you want to invest
Claire says: “If you’re
thinking about investing, you’ll have to decide whether you want to pick your investments and manage them yourself, or if you want to find a provider who will manage investments for you.
“The investments universe is very broad – you can invest in almost everything from a tracker fund, which is like a basket of lots of different shares, to more esoteric assets like wine or antiques. Traditionally, the main types of investments are equities, or stocks and shares, which means you hold a small portion of a company; bonds, which are like an IOU from the government or a company; and cash.
“It’s wise to hold a diverse range of investments, and the exact mix will depend on how you feel about risk,” she adds. “For example, equities can be more volatile, so you have to be comfortable with your investments rising and falling, while bonds are traditionally viewed as less risky. If you’re not sure, companies like Nutmeg can build a diversified portfolio for you.”
Set long-term goals
Setting goals and figuring out your real-life options helps inspire money confidence, which is needed to start investing.
“If you use that as a starting point, it makes investing easier to underment stand. When people think about investment, they think about the technical bits, tax and exchangetraded funds (ETFs). But it’s also important to manage your expectations and be patient,” says Rebecca Owers, director of wealth distribution for HSBC UK.
“Investing is more about where you want to be in life, and breaking [goals] down into simple thinking points. Take the best things from both worlds.
“When women want to start investing, they should approach it like learning a new language. Don’t you research the options that are available to you? Investing is no different. Women need to feel confident and dedication is a key part of that confidence.”
Be patient
It’s also important to manage expectations and be patient with your financial growth.
“You are not going to get rich quickly,” Bola adds. “The first time you invest isn’t the first time you make money. It’s rare. This is important for women to understand.”
For Marianne, there is some beauty in playing the long game: “It is like a snowball. So the bigger it gets, the more snow it attracts. If you can continue to regularly dripfeed it with payments.”
Make sure you have an emergency fund
Claire encourages all women to have at least three to six months worth of expenses saved, and this needs to be easily accessible, so if the unexpected happens, you have that security blanket ready.
“[But] beyond that, there are many schools of thought around how much of your income you should be investing, and there’s no one-size-fits-all,” she adds. “One rule of thumb is the 20/30/50 rule: 50% of your monthly income is spent on covering essentials, like your rent or mortgage, utilities and food; 30% on things you want, for instance, a gym membership or holidays; and the final 20% should go to savings and investments.
“However, in the current high cost-of-living environment, this simply might not be possible or realistic. Even making small regular contributions to your investments can really add up over time – we all need to start somewhere.”
Investing is more about where you want to be in life
HSBC’s Rebecca Owers