We need the thrills we have been deprived of
COULD SEIZING THE DAY AGAIN HELP IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL WELLBEING? SAM WYLIE-HARRIS TAKES A LOOK
MANY people have felt out of sorts since the pandemic – whether it’s the cancellations, disappointments or endless restriction, and being challenged by something none of us could control.
As a result, right now, we might not be as focused on longer-term lifetime ambitions as we were two years ago – and instead feel more determined to seize the day and live for the moment.
A recent survey of 2,000 adults by BMW, to mark the launch of the BMW 2 Series Active Tourer, found 68% felt more driven than ever to ‘embrace life and step out of their comfort zone to try new things.’
The poll reveals a shift in outlook, with half of respondents saying they’re concentrating on shorterterm attainable goals that provide instant pleasure, rather than future aspirations.
“We were suddenly challenged with a situation we couldn’t control,” observes behavioural psychologist Jo Hemming. “We couldn’t control our responses to it – and a curveball like the pandemic makes people think about life.
“They go for that dopamine hit, the instant gratification and immediate burst of pleasure,” she adds. “Perhaps they’re fearful the long-term goals don’t matter as much.”
According to the survey, this newfound zest for life includes a host of pursuits people are thinking about – such as surfing, taking a sky-dive or conquering a mountain range – with more than half saying getting older has given them perspective too and made them more driven to achieve their ambitions.
“It’s a good thing we’re doing the things that please us,” says Jo. “It’s the balance between having the everyday pleasures in life, the rewards, and balancing that with your longerterm goals.
“But if your longer-term goals are weighing you down, if they’re really restrictive, then you’ve got to go the other way – the small bursts of pleasure you can afford to do, and give you that dopamine hit.”
We’re not saying ditch all your sensible long-term aims. But perhaps the pandemic has reminded us that there’s a lot to enjoy and be grateful for right now too.
So how can you let go a little and live more for today?
Break down longer-term goals into smaller ones
Jo says to think about things you want to do this year, not just 10 or 20 years in the future. “So you’re getting a sense of stepping out of your comfort zone, especially if you’re used to holding on to everything and saving.
“Use what’s happened to us in the last couple of years to understand why we need to cherish the moment. With our families, those who’ve lost people or been seriously ill, it’s in our mindset that we can’t take everything for granted.”
Don’t feel guilty about self-care
“Self-care is very important,” stresses Jo. “People confuse self-care for selfindulgence, especially when they’re saving and have long-term goals.
“It’s those little bursts of pleasure, doing something for yourself which actually contributes to your wellbeing. And if your wellbeing is in a good place, then your perspective on life generally improves and you feel less guilty about spending money, doing that thing or taking time out.”
She thinks people sometimes find it hard to do that – “because they see it as self-indulgence, or straying from the path of their long-term goal. But actually, to me, it’s a very healthy thing to do, and we should all do it”.
Think of a short-term pleasure plan
Where to start? Jo says to “work out what pleases you. What gives you that dopamine hit. What are the things you’ve missed that you haven’t done, for whatever reason?” Just reflecting on what you were doing in a different time – perhaps when you were younger, prepandemic or didn’t have so many money worries – can be helpful. “What was the thing that pleased you? And how can you adapt that to something which: A, you can afford, and B, you have the time to do,” says Jo.
De-stress by keeping it to ‘two worries’ a day
If you’re stressed out by life, whether it’s the pressures of daily woes or an onslaught of not great news, Jo suggests limiting yourself to a couple of ‘worry windows’ a day.
“So rather than listening to rolling news all day or constantly watching news on TV, decide you’re going to have two worry windows a day.”
That might mean watching breakfast TV or listening to a radio show in the morning, and then watching some news in the evening. “So you’re informed but you’re not bombarded by bad news, which we absorb like a sponge – and it makes us stressed out,” Jo explains. “It’s something that invades our momentary pauses in life, which we need.”
She says to stop and breathe out slowly if we’re taking in news constantly and it spikes our cortisol levels, one of the key stress hormones. “It’s very difficult to take time out when your cortisol levels are high,” Jo notes. “They’re quite hard to selfregulate when there’s a lot of bad news around.”
Get out and maximise your opportunities
As we’ve been under restrictions and spending a great deal of time at home, we’ve had to readjust our comfort zones – and maybe forgotten how to embrace life.
“Our confidence has narrowed to our own four walls, or what we can do online,” says Jo. “So it’s getting out there. Doing something in real time, because now we can.
“Don’t forget there’s a life beyond restrictions. We should be maximising our opportunities of doing something outside of our homes, from surfing to riding a horse.”
She says people want to do adventurous, slightly dangerous things. “Monitored danger, if you like, because we need to get it back. We’ve got a lot of adrenaline and that’s not a bad thing if it’s moderated and we have bursts of it. But if it’s constant, it causes stress.
“So when you do something like a sky-dive or a roller coaster your adrenaline spikes in a good way. It’s called eustress.”
Jo says to think about this as a ‘good’ stress. “It’s the things we volunteer to be stressed about. It’s a good feeling, a challenge. We know we’re going to get a bit scared, we might scream, but we’ve willingly volunteered to do it, so it’s in our control,” she explains.
“And the reason we want to do so much of that now is because our life in the last couple of years has been out of our control. We need the thrills we’ve been deprived of.”