FORMER Big Brother WINNER KATE LAWLER TALKS TO OK! ABOUT HER BABY DILEMMA
AS SHE TAKES ON A NEW ROLE AT VIRGIN RADIO, ok! CHATS TO FORMER ‘BIG BROTHER’ WINNER KATE LAWLER ABOUT WORKING WITH HER HERO AND TACKLING A TABOO
After finding fame as the winner of the third series of Big Brother back in 2002, Kate Lawler carved out a successful career as a DJ – both on the decks and on radio – playing in clubs all over the world while establishing herself as a talented broadcaster. ‘I’m really glad I did all the raving in my twenties,’ she tells us. ‘I don’t feel like I need to do that any more. I’m quite happy with my dogs,’ Kate adds of her beloved pooches Baxter, a border terrier, and rescue pup Shirley, who warmly greet us as we arrive at Kate’s flat for our exclusive shoot.
When she isn’t walking Baxter and Shirley, Kate’s soundtracking the nation’s commute in her new drivetime slot on Virgin Radio, taking over from her friend Matt Richardson. She’s also been busy interviewing guests for Maybe Baby, the podcast she’s launched with her fiancé, known as Big Boj, 35, in which they grapple with the fact he wants children and she’s not so sure. ‘None of my friends share my point of view, so it’s been great to talk to people in the same position,’ says
39-year-old Kate.
Meanwhile, the couple are planning their summer
2020 wedding, which Kate tells us will be a small, simple affair in London followed by a big party.
Here, Kate opens up about her baby dilemma, proving the doubters wrong and her wedding plans…
Why did you and your fiancé Boj decide to start your podcast Maybe Baby?
We wanted to speak to parents about the reality of having a baby so we can make an informed decision. We’re also speaking to couples who haven’t had kids and how they feel about their choice. It’s refreshing to hear from other women who don’t have that maternal instinct.
What has the response been? We’ve had so many messages from couples in the same position, but of course someone on Twitter said I’m pushing a feminist agenda. I’m not, this is just our story. Every woman is on their own journey.
Do you think there’s still a stigma around women not wanting kids? It is still taboo, because when you say: ‘I don’t know if I want kids,’ it’s always met with shock or surprise. Some people still think it’s the ’60s and that men should work and women should be mums. I don’t believe every woman is put on the planet to have a child and I think those women who choose to live child-free should be patted on the back, not judged.
Where do you feel the pressure is coming from? I’m lucky my family don’t put any pressure on me, but people always say: ‘Oh you’ll change your mind.’ It’s insulting because they’re basically saying you don’t know how you feel. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t ready in my previous relationships. Now I’m with the right person and I thought I’d change my mind, but I’m still doing that thing where you say: ‘Let’s discuss it next year.’
Has turning 40 next year made you feel more pressure?
Yes, it’s definitely making me think more seriously about it. I’d hate to finally feel ready next year and then find out I can’t conceive, but equally I can’t just have a baby out of fear.
Has recording the podcast caused any arguments between you and Boj?
Yeah, we’ve had a few heated discussions. But it’s also like therapy because the stuff I’m too scared to say to him I’ll say to the guests. I don’t think he ever realised how against having kids I was.
So are you any closer to a decision?
I’ve never been more confused. Every episode I’ll come away thinking it won’t be so bad, then the next day I’ll see a child having a meltdown… I do know if I did have a baby with Boj, there’s no way I couldn’t love it and we’d make it work. The compromise would be having only one and Boj initially wanted more but now he’d be happy with one.
Have you discussed what will happen if you don’t change your mind?
Yes, and he always said we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. And I know what that means – that we’d get divorced. But a couple of weeks ago, he said: ‘If you decide you really don’t want kids, I’m okay with that. I would rather have you and not have children than not have you.’ It was the first time he’d ever said that.
Will you wrap up the podcast with a decision?
We’ve got a few more episodes to record, which takes us up to December. And then people are expecting us to make a decision. Who knows? Maybe in December I’ll be like: ‘I want a baby!’ But right now I feel like I won’t decide until next year, because I want to get married first.
How are the wedding plans coming along? We’ve set the date for the day of our sevenyear anniversary. Baxter’s best man and Shirley’s flower girl! I’m going to put her in a little corsage and Baxter’s got a dinner jacket. We’re not having a sit-down meal; we want a small wedding and then a big party.
Exciting! Have you picked the dress? I’ve tried on 35 dresses! I’m not a princess dress person; I prefer simple styles. But there is one dress that I’ve tried on which is quite embellished.
How did Boj propose?
We were in Bruges and I had no idea he was going to propose, so I kept sabotaging his attempts. First he suggested we walk across this romantic bridge after dinner and I said: ‘You’re not going to b **** y propose, are you? That’s so cheesy.’ The next day we were walking on the beach and he was like: ‘Shall we sit down?’ And I said: ‘No, I haven’t done my 10,000 steps yet!’ He ended up asking me after a nap in our hotel room when I was spooning Baxter! The first thing I said was ‘F*** off, Boj!’ The second was: ‘Have you asked my dad?’ He said: ‘Yeah, he just looked at me and said: “Good luck!”’ It was hilarious!
Are you friends with any of your former
Big Brother housemates?
Me, Alison [Hammond], Jonny [Regan] and PJ [Ellis] are all best mates from our series. We had a reunion last summer in Birmingham.
Will Alison be a bridesmaid then?
That would be epic, but no! I’ve got my two sisters, my future sister-in-law and my best friend from school. I’ve got so many best mates – I’d like everyone to be my bridesmaid.
‘i kept sabotaging his attempts to propose’
Are you proud of your Big Brother beginnings? Being the first woman to win was pretty awesome. When I look back now, it was a whirlwind. I was 22 and I didn’t cope with the attention very well. I struggled for the first six months, but staying in Kent with the people I grew up with kept me in check.
This year marked the tenth anniversary of Jade Goody’s death – what are your memories of her?
Jade was a huge part of our Big Brother series. We never stayed in touch afterwards but the fact that, following her death, the NHS reported a 12 per cent increase in the number of women attending cervical screenings is a legacy her family should be proud of.
Do you think Big Brother ended at the right time?
I do. It paved the way for so many other reality TV shows and everything has a shelf life.
You were an original on
Love Island, too…
I was in the second series. They flew us out to Fiji and it rained the whole time. I did have one nice date with Calum Best, though – purely platonic. Then they flew us to a desert island! Are any more reality shows on your list? I’ve just done Celebrity Coach Trip, which airs in October. I’d do Strictly Come Dancing in a heartbeat! Although Boj was like: ‘Babe, we’re getting married next year... you’re not doing Strictly!’
Was it always the plan to go into radio? No, it just kind of happened. I’m proud that I managed to carve out a career off the back of Big Brother. Despite the odd person saying: ‘You’ve had your five minutes,’ I’m still working hard and have just been given Drive Time on Virgin Radio.
How’s it been taking over from Matt Richardson on the drive-time show?
We’re good mates and he messaged me to say: ‘I couldn’t think of anyone better to take over than you.’ Me and Boj hang out with Matt and his girlfriend Sam [Rollinson]. We all went to Vienna last year.
Are you close to Chris Evans?
Chris is amazing. He’s really supportive. When I first met him I was so nervous. I’ve followed his career since I was a kid.
Did you ever find it difficult as a woman in the industry?
Not now, but when I joined Kerrang! Radio in 2007 it was heavily male dominated. Now there are so many female presenters being given their own shows, not just being a sidekick, which is great.
You look great – what’s your fitness regime?
I mainly keep slim by walking the dogs – I do about 20,000 steps
every day. I love hot yoga and boxing, too. I’m doing a half marathon in Amsterdam in October, which Chris Evans roped me into! I want to get training for my wedding, too – I want to look really hot and get nice toned arms. Exercise is so good for your mental health. When I look in the mirror and look ripped, I feel good about myself.
Do you eat healthily?
Yeah, I try to juice and I don’t drink during the week. I also eat a lot of fish as I don’t eat meat. At weekends I treat myself; we love a takeaway.
We love your flat. How long have you been here?
Nearly three years. When we got here we had the floor sanded and varnished. We got a new bathroom and kitchen as well, and painted everywhere. I’m not very good with interior design; I like mixing vintage with modern and love character features, like the exposed brickwork we’ve got on the chimney breast.
Do you have a favourite space?
My bedroom in the loft. It’s quiet and zen. But I won’t miss it in the summer because it’s so hot!
Are you moving then?
We’re looking for a house with more space. We like period properties with character. I really want a garden with a hot tub, too.