CANDICE BRATHWAITE
AUTHOR CANDICE BRATHWAITE ON HER FIRST BOOK AND WHAT SHE THINKS OF THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT
For Candice Brathwaite, quitting her marketing job in 2015 was the best thing she ever did. Her social media career has since rocketed, and she has also founded the Make Motherhood Diverse platform. And now her debut book, I Am Not Your Baby Mother, has become a bestseller.
Candice lives in Milton Keynes with her partner Bodé and their two childen – Esmé Olivia, six, and RJ, two.
As we enjoy a candid chat with the insightful 32-yearold, before long we’re hoping she’ll become our new best friend...
Your book is the first ever book on black motherhood in Britain written by a black mum. Does that spark mixed emotions?
It does. I’m proud but it’s also gross that it took this long. My life has a habit of making me the first. Publicly that looks really cool, but privately it’s really hard. I press on with it so my daughter can be the second, third or fourth and not even think about it.
Were there any tough topics you didn’t want to include?
I didn’t want to talk about rape or abortion. You don’t really want to expose those parts of yourself, but I knew instinctively that the book wouldn’t bang without them. It wouldn’t be honest. Rape, abortion and mental health are regardless of race. So the harder things in this book actually tie everyone together.
Pressure on mums to look a certain way is also a strong theme...
There’s peer pressure even in what is said to be the most precious time in a woman’s life. It goes from wanting a thigh gap, to now you have to wear this dress and have this pushchair.
Again, this is regardless of race. The portrayal of motherhood being white, middle class and glossy even excludes other white people!
It’s been testing, as both me and my other half work full-time. I’m big on manifestation and my ask this year was to spend more time with my kids. Granted, this is not how I wanted it, but RJ’S development has come on leaps and it’s lovely to see my daughter be so caring.
Do you think pressure to learn a new skill in lockdown is unrealistic?
We have never done this before, so to put even more expectation on the situation is madness. I don’t begrudge those people learning karate and all that but I don’t have the time [laughs].
With Black Lives Matter, do you see change happening in your children’s lifetime?
If I am honest, no. Will it get better? Yes, for sure. To see the younger people charge forward with these movements, I do think some of these messages are hitting home.
What are your hopes for your kids? I’m the first person in my family to do a job I love. My hope is that my kids get that, without questioning how that can’t happen. That’s a big part of white privilege, never questioning why it can’t happen because you expect it to. Esmé wants to be an archeologist and my son, he might be Bob The Builder at this rate. He’s all over the place!