nadiya hussain
Bake Off champion Nadiya Hussain on lockdown, why she’d never arrange her own children’s marriages and why she’s saying no to having another baby
Since baking her way to fame when she was crowned the winner of The Great British Bake Off in 2015, Nadiya Hussain’s life has changed beyond belief. The talented 36-year-old has gone on to write cookbooks, a novel, children’s books and even fronted a BBC documentary on anxiety – something she’s battled all her life.
Sharing and caring comes naturally to Nadiya, she tells us. In fact, when we give her a call for a catch-up, the cake connoisseur has just returned from dropping food around to her neighbours.
“We have a very open door in our house,” she beams. “We believe as Muslims that your neighbours are your family and you should look after them first.”
She married her husband Abdal in an arranged marriage 15 years ago, and the couple have three children, Musa, 14, Dawud, 13, and 10-year-old Maryam.
Here, the TV chef opens up about the secret to their happy marriage, learning to put herself first and life in lockdown…
Hey Nadiya! What’s it been like being a busy mum to three children in lockdown?
Having two teenage boys at home during a pandemic has been interesting [laughs]. At the beginning we were very regimented and strict, telling them they can’t fall behind. But actually, over time, we just stopped putting pressure on them. We’re very relaxed at the moment. Everyone is going to have to catch up at some point. I was a mess when they went back to school! It was sadness mixed with excitement and a little bit of fear. We’re scared they might get sick, so we’re feeling really nervous but positive that we’re making steps towards finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
What’s the Hussain household like?
It’s orderly with a dash of chaos. The kids know when bedtime and lunchtime is. They do the laundry on a Saturday and clean on a Sunday. We have set rules. I’ll miss having them home. Maryam is loving trying on all my shoes currently.
That’s so sweet. Is she growing up to be like you?
Yeah! She loves make-up and shoes. But that being said, she’s growing up with two brothers, so she’s just as happy to roll about and muck out the chickens. She’s just turning into a lovely human being.
Just like her mum! What’s it like being the mum of teen boys?
It’s safe to say that everything I do embarrasses
them. They always tell me off! But there’s a lot of role reversal going on in the home right now. Normally I’d be the one to check on their mental health, but now they always ask us if we are OK. Although I joke about having two teen boys, they have become such wonderful humans who care about other people’s feelings.
If you could teach your children one thing in life, what would it be?
The mantra in our house is, “Elbows out.” We teach them to create space for themselves, so they can create space for others. Growing up within the BAME community, and for myself as a first-generation British Asian Muslim woman, there are certain hurdles I know my children will have to face. I will knock down as many of those as I possibly can, but the reality is that they will face many of them alone.
How hands-on has Abdal been with the children over the past year?
He’s not been handson at all! He’s amazing, but he has a full-time job. So from 8am to 8pm, we don’t see him. What we’ve learnt from this year is to delegate without feeling guilty, even if that means getting one of the kids to do more housework. Because they’re so active in the house, we’ve been able to spend a lot more quality time together. I thought we’d hate each other by the end of lockdown, but if anything we’ve come out a lot stronger. It’s been tough for all of us but Abdal is a great dad.
Have you tried to keep nice date nights going during lockdown?
We’ve not had one date night in the last year and a half. We have tried but we have teenagers who I can’t get to bed at 7pm. Having date nights is almost impossible. I’ve promised myself once we are out of lockdown, I’m not going to feel guilty about going out to dinner and leaving the kids with a babysitter. It’s so important to make that time for your partner. Especially when you have children. Children need to see a happy home. They need stability and two parents who love each other.
What do you think the secret is to your happy marriage?
There’s no such thing as 50/50 in a relationship. The reality of modern-day life and any marriage is that someone is always putting in more than the other person. When I go away to work abroad in a tropical country for 21 days, as a wife I’m putting in a lot less to my family because he’s there to do everything.
Do you think your marriage is stronger than others because it was arranged?
We have a strong marriage because we’re so dissimilar. It works because we have interesting conversations. But we are similar in how we want to raise our family. Although we spoke to each other for six months before we got married, we really didn’t know each other’s personalities that well. We are so like Married At First Sight it’s unbelievable!
In what way?
We got engaged the first day we laid eyes on each other! Ten days later, we got married. It’s been all about compromise. Also learning about each other, I’ve never wanted to change him. We’ve been very fluid about the whole situation. I think it has helped that we had an arranged marriage because we committed first and then learnt about each other after. We were one of the lucky couples.
Would you have arranged marriages for your children?
No way.
Why not?
It’s just too much hard work and responsibility. If my own marriage didn’t work out, I think I would blame my parents. I wouldn’t want that for myself. I trust that I’ve given them the right tools to want the right things for themselves. But if they do make the wrong choice, that’s OK, too!
You renewed your vows in December 2018. Would you ever want to do that again?
I think that’s it for us. We had an Islamic marriage, and then we wanted to do it officially in this country. I don’t need to marry him any more times to know that I love and value him. I know he’s special. But I am really glad we did it a second time.
Do you feel like your family is complete now then?
Musa always calls me old, but the second I say I don’t want to have a baby he retracts it! He is adamant and on my back every day to have a baby. I don’t know what it is! I am like, “No, no, no!” I might get more pets, but definitely not more children. It’s not for me.
How lovely that he wants another sibling…
He’s desperate! We have the same conversation every single day. I would rather get him another cat! I like my sleep and my neighbour said I looked tired, so no [laughs]!
‘We are so like married at
first sight it’s unbelievable!’
How has your anxiety been through lockdown?
It’s been a task to manage it. Not only am I managing my own, but I’ve had to be aware of everyone around me, especially my children and
husband. It takes a toll on you. It’s not been easy. But changing the way I look at things has really helped. I’ve become better at knowing when to look after myself.
Would you like to do other documentaries?
Yes, there are loads of subjects that I’m interested in, whether it be racism or colourism, all things that I’ve been affected by growing up and still am affected by. I’d love to have tougher conversations and share them with other people. Since winning Bake Off I’ve fallen into a career I never intended to. But it’s made me realise how passionate I am about cooking and representation as a first-generation British Bangladeshi Muslim woman. It’s so important to occupy that space.
Congratulations on launching your own footwear collection with Next…
Thank you! I’m very proud. My most favourite pair in the collection is the metallic brogues – they feel like you’re wearing slippers!
What does fashion mean to you?
There was a stage in my life after I’d just had children where I was so self-conscious. It took years of trying to feel like the version of myself that I wanted to be. But as the kids have got older, I’ve been able to focus on myself and things I like. And it’s really important for me to feel nice, so that was a big part of the inspiration.
shop nadiya’s NEW collection at next.co.uk/women/ nadiya-hussain-footwear