ORIENTAL ANGLES
They’re out there and, sadly, in larger numbers than you might expect. They’re also out there ready, willing and able to take your money – in fact, they’ll happily take as much as you are willing to give them. What’s more, they really don’t care if you pay over the odds to get the bike of your dreams.
Who are ‘they’? These are the various dealers, vendors, sellers, merchants, online advertisers, etc., who peddle poorly restored bikes at apparently unrealistic prices.
Chances are, if you’re an OBM regular, you won’t be suckered in by these ‘distributors of doom’ that give the rest of the trade a bad name. However, there’s a very real possibility we may have mates who could fall foul of these rogues and it’s our duty to ensure we do our utmost to save these newbies from themselves and the shoddy sharks that swim on the periphery of our hobby. Before you set digital pen to electronic paper, please bear with me and read to the end of this missive.
The bulk of the classic bike trade are honest and the further back that you or I can remember their various adverts in the press the more reliable they are likely to be. After all, you don’t stay as a frontline business in the relatively small world of classic motorcycles if you have a bad reputation. There’s a raft of traders out there making their livings by buying and selling - it’s how the trade works. Some will buy from folk thinning down a collection or looking for a change of machinery; these sellers are the folks who don’t want Joe Public rocking up at their place and that’s fair enough. Too many classics have disappeared after a ‘potential buyer’ cased a collection ready for dead of night acquisition! Sell to a dealer and you know who you are working with and you may even be able to arrange a part exchange.
Other dealers will buy in classics either as tired, complete machines or as a collection of various parts and then embark on a resurrection. The finished machines that arise, phoenix-like, from the process are restored to various levels dependent upon their target markets. The high end, 100 point perfect examples are likely to hang around longer, yet the potential profits are higher. Conversely, there’s lots of traders out there who will gladly furnish you with a cost-effective classic that stands up remarkably well to a five-metre review. Up closer, the cosmetics may not be ‘quite so’ and there may be evidence of nonstandard cap head screws in place of the OEM crossheads, yet the bike remains both viable and authentic. Most importantly, a machine from either supplier will work pretty much as it should.
Unfortunately, where it all goes to rodent excrement is when the fast-buck merchants get their nasty little claws into the unwary. In real terms it’s not overly difficult to carry out a full cosmetic restoration cost effectively and swiftly. Replating zinc parts is dirt cheap in bulk and it has a disproportionate effect set against a ‘50 quid’ chassis refresh with the most basic of powder coatings. Pattern levers to replace the broken ones, ditto indicators, an aftermarket seat cover and they’re well on the way to potential sale.
A set of panels can be revived cheaply enough if you know the right people and there are still a few back street chrome platers out there operating on the fringes of legality. Suddenly an apparently pristine classic is dangerously close to being ready for an unsuspecting punter.
At no point has any time or money been expended upon the transmission or motor. There’s also a good chance it’s been filled with the cheapest oil available. Such bikes punted out for silly money to punters who are ‘cash rich/time poor’ are very likely to be money pits at best and possibly an accident waiting to happen. If you have a newbie mate looking for a classic, please assist by helping them avoid the get-rich merchants out there!