Putting the pedal to the medal

My hearing aid chap was just leaving and he was enthusing about his friend who had just received notification through the post of his having been made an OBE. “Oh, that’s very nice,” I said, “I’m pleased for him. Actually, I have the OBM.” Stunned look from my man, his mind clearly racing.

I said: “Yes, mine came the other day, also through the post. It’s called Old Bike Mart. It’s a motorcycle paper that I get every month!” A further stunned silence for a split second and he burst out laughing and nearly wet himself and then, with a big smile on his face, he drove off.

An OBE might be helpful when you’re trying to get a restaurant reservation, but we reckon you’ll get far more use out of your OBM. Ed.